Close to Home by John McPherson for December 27, 2020

Bleeb be sure you jump clear before the lady dumps her stuff into the shredder.

Dang, I’ve got 20 year old kid art in my office cave.

Is Bleeb camouflaged?!!

Yep, that’s me. I’ve got art my 30 year old daughter made when she was 2. Not very good art, but art nonetheless.

There’s some hope for these moms, they brought stuff to this room!

I have seen some kitchens where the first thought would be that there might be a refrigerator under all those magnets and paper..

I found some of mine from 50 years ago. Which is kind of nice, just not ALL of it.

PWCTOAOTKA Support Group. Has a ring to it.

JOHNNNNN-SON!!

Yes sir, you trumpeted, sir?

Johnson, there’s five more days until New Year’s Eve, and you know the alien bug is gonna party like it’s um, um, what’s that song say again, Johnson?

“It’s… “party like it’s 1999”, sir.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s the one. So, Johnson, are you gonna be able to keep the bug in-line until then?… because he wasn’t here for the support group scene!

“Yes sir, I believe we can keep the bug… er, Mr. Bleeb, sober until then, sir.”

Good Johnson, good! Any more incidents could jeopardize my job as a director here, and if my job is in jeopardy, then your job is in jeopardy!

“HEY… MR. DEFECTOR, I’M REEEEADDDY! (ʜɪᴄᴋ)Wʜᴇʀᴇ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ sʜᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜɪs ᴛɪᴍᴇ. (ʜɪᴄᴋ)… Aʀᴏᴜɴᴅ sʜᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇs ʟᴇɢs, (ʜɪᴄᴋ) ᴏᴠᴇʀ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ? Tʜᴇʀᴇ’sʜ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴀ ʙᴇ sʜᴏᴍᴇ ʟᴇɢs ᴏᴠᴇʀ ʜᴇʀᴇ sʜᴏᴍᴇᴡʜᴇʀᴇ! Sᴀᴀᴀᴀʏ, (ʜɪᴄᴋ) ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ’sʜ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴘᴏʟᴇ-ᴅᴀɴᴄɪɴ’ ᴇʟғ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴀ ғᴇᴡ ᴅᴀʏsʜ ᴀɢᴏ? ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴜᴛ ᴀ ᴅᴏʟʟᴀʀ ɪɴ ʜᴇʀ ɢ-sʜᴛʀɪɴɢ… Hᴇᴇ-ʜᴇᴇ-ʜᴇᴇ-ʜᴇᴇ-HᴏᴏWᴇᴇ!”

“Um, Mr. Bleeb, sir… she wasn’t actually an elf sir, she was in character, wearing an elf costume… and she wasn’t wearing a g-string, either, sir!”

“Mᴍᴍᴍ-ᴛʜᴀᴛ’sh ᴏᴋᴀʏ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ, Jᴀᴄᴋsʜᴜɴ (ʜɪᴄᴋ) ɪ ᴅɪᴅɴ’ᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴅᴏʟʟᴀʀ! Pғғғғғᴛᴛ, ʜᴀ-ʜᴀ-ʜᴀ-ʜᴀ-ʜᴇ-ʜᴇ!“

“It’s… “Johnson”, sir!”

“Wʜᴀᴛᴇᴠᴇʀ, Jᴇғғᴇʀsʜᴜɴ! Jᴜsᴛ’sʜ ᴅᴏ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ Dᴇᴛᴇᴄᴛᴏʀ sʜᴀɪᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ʙᴏᴜʀʙᴏɴ ᴇɢɢɴᴏɢ ᴀɴᴅ sʜᴜsʜ! I ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴀ ʟᴇᴇᴇᴇᴇᴇᴛʟᴇ sʜɴᴏᴏᴢᴇ!“

… Cont’d tomorrow.

Sentimental cement is powerful.

The best remedy for this is to photograph the artwork, then toss it out. Saves space while preserving memories.

NO! Save it all, once it’s gone it’s gone. Someone else might have a desire for the work down the road.

My brother’s solution was to use some of it as gift wrapping paper.

When we moved, we gave the treasured items back to our kids…..even the picture with half the macaroni fallen off.

Wait for the punchline. (Her son is Eric Carle.)

At least it isn’t a real turtle.

One step at a time

My kids are in their thirtys and fortys and we still have some of their school art including Christmas tree ornaments.

Gina, Stop !! I’ll take the turtle… it’s pretty cute !