The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for November 25, 2020

No matter what you read it will not change your day.

The Western (Babylonian) Zodiac is two stations behind the actual astronomical positions, too.

So which of the above gentlemen is the real Born Loser?

He is still reading yesterday’s paper and wants to bum today’s off of you.

Have you thought maybe it could be worse?

So why doesn’t he just pick a different sign?

(for the record, I’m a Gemini. We mostly don’t believe in horoscopes)

I read my horoscope every day. I can always use a good chuckle. Especially when it talks about getting a promotion. I’m retired and married. Being second in charge (if you don’t count the cats) ain’t so bad.

They are different in other papers

Fifteen or twenty years ago, Holiday Mathis’s horoscopes for my sign used to be as preposterously hilarious as the ones in The Onion. Those were the days!

Once upon a time, I’d have offered to sell these two prime ocean front property in Carson City. But that will pan out before this bullshirt.

When was the last time you seen someone reading a newspaper in public?

A DNA test is in order to determine if he is long lost family member. Or, has a new character been introduced to the comic?….

Are they reading the same paper, or fortunate enough to live where they have more than just one local paper?

The joke could be that they’re reading the same paper, in which case the horoscope the guy didn’t like probably said, “Be careful not to put your stupidity on display today.”

If they’re reading different papers, then the joke would be a comment on the pseudo-science of astrology, since he is opting to pick and choose which horoscope he wants to listen to.

If horoscopes were real, they would be the same in every paper.

At a Chinese restaurant many years ago, we found out my wife is a snake and I am a rat. Her first words to me…“Snakes eat rats, you know.” I didn’t know whether to feel threatened, or what.

That yellow haired guy looks disastously familiar…

https://www.gocomics.com/thegrizzwells/2020/11/24?ct=v&cti=1451790