Close to Home by John McPherson for November 14, 2020

We have Bleeb and Dalcon both watching the bear win.

Just enough spiciness to real piss the bear off. Marvelous!

It switches allegiance after the expiration date. Now it’s bear attractant.

Now we know what happened to our Ballard Street boy.

Probably should have checked that before you left.

My brother has a backyard bear that occasionally shows up. I gave him an alarm to sound at 140DB to carry. Hoping that works in case there is an incident where he is outside and the bear shows up.

Never buy bear spray at the maul.

It looks like Dave is just about to expire himself.

Dave is going to have to grin and bear it.

At Yellowstone NP they tell you to wear bells (to alert the bears so they aren’t startled) and carry bear spray. They also say you can look at the bear scat and tell what kind of bear left it. If it’s purplish and smells fishy (from eating berries and fish), it’s from a black bear. If it has bells and smells like pepper, it’s from a grizzly.

The National Park Rangers are advising hikers in Glacier National Park and other Rocky Mountain parks to be alert for bears and take extra precautions to avoid an encounter.

They advise park visitors to wear little bells on their clothes so they make noise when hiking. The bell noise allows bears to hear them coming from a distance and not be startled by a hiker accidentally sneaking up on them. This might cause a bear to charge.

Visitors should also carry a pepper spray can just in case a bear is encountered. Spraying the pepper into the air will irritate the bear’s sensitive nose and it will run away.

It is also a good idea to keep an eye out for fresh bear scat so you have an idea if bears are in the area. People should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear scat.

Black bear droppings are smaller and often contain berries, leaves, and possibly bits of fur. Grizzly bear droppings tend to contain small bells and smell of pepper.

Well it could be worse. It could be bear mating season and it could read something different on the spray can. Then this goes NSFW and some one is in real trouble.

https://www.amazon.com/Buck-Baits-Bear-Urine-Heat/dp/B01LWUILUI

The old bear poop joke is still being told, I see. Looks like that bear spray is just an appetizer.

Bear spray… The directions say to spray the bear when it’s 30 feet away… they run 35 mph… so what are the chances of making this work out? I live in Idaho near Yellowstone and I can assure you bear spray is not our first choice in effective defense.

B͜͡e͜͡a͜͡r͜͡ t͜͡h͜͡o͜͡u͜͡g͜͡h͜͡t͜͡s͜͡.͜͡.͜͡.͜͡

“Mmm-mmm! This is the luckiest day a bear like me can have! An order of camper with another camper on the side! Hmmm, one of ‘em brought his own jalapeño sauce. The other one seems to be marinatin’ in sump’n that kinda stinks! When I finish these two, I’m headin’ for the sofa. Actually, I think I’ll eat those two weird yellow tree bugs for dessert, then I’ll head for the … oop, never mind, a hawk got ‘em both. Wow, it stinks out here!”

Meanwhile, looks like Bleep is hiding from Dalcon

I see a tree. While Dave is “fighting” the bear, I’m thinking Joe ought to “let him be the hero” and shimmy up a tree.

Give it some honey

2 Bleebs?