In the Bleachers by Ben Zaehringer for September 19, 2020

What a way to make a living.

Salaries for all umpires have been slashed!!

Isn’t the batter facing in the wrong direction? From the point of home plate, the umpire has his back to the pitcher (which us correct), so….

No tip = you better be swinging.

That’s about all umpires do right.

Your supposed to leave it in an unmarked briefcase in the umpire lockerroom.

Tip him over.

A lot of umpires let their desire for certain teams to win out over others to show through in their strike calls. I’m surprised we haven’t switched to computerized calling yet. Let’s even out the playing field!

and thus ended the habit of kicking dirt on the home plate when upset with the umpire’s calls of balls and strikes.

Wish I had thought of this when I was a little league umpire.

No way. You missed the outside corner, as usual.

In Umpiring, as in life, a good rule is, Don’t get mad. Whatever you do, don’t show it. But no matter how long it takes, get even.

Pitcher should be paying.