Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for July 08, 2020

There is one and only one tattoo that I’d get if someone else paid for it.

Back right shoulder:

I SAID I DON’T WANT A TATTOO.

Why cover up perfectly good scars? That’s why I’ll never get one.

This makes me think of the old riddle of Two Barbers in one small town. One has a dump of a place – but fabulous looking hair! The other has a great looking shop that is clean and neat – but his hair resembles a rodent’s nest. Which one would you go to… to get your hair done?

If Daddy don’t like – It won’t happen! Move to a new town and pay someone else to get what you really want.

An acquaintance claims that his tattoo is the result of a dyslexic tattoo artist. It might be true. Or drunk.

My dad usually offered to cut my hair for free, especially now with what’s going on. The drawback was he said he would cut it the way his hair looks, or what’s left of it. I decided to buy for myself a clipper set and a hand mirror, and have been giving myself buzz cuts which have been turning out well.

We used to have a TV commercial around here about excessive drinking and drugs. Young guy gets out of bed after being wasted the night before. He looks in the mirror and admires his new piercing as the camera pans his full back tattoo.

Heard a comment on tattoos years ago. Place it 3 inches higher than you want. It won’t be long until it’s where you wanted.

I’ve seen very few good looking tattoos. Most do justice to the term “tramp stamp”. Don’t know the term for guy’s tattoos. Shaved heads aren’t far behind

He’s taking an ink stand.

Should read “I am a two year old acting out”. Guess it won’t fit the space

Revenge of THE DAD!!

Sneaky.

In most cases what nature and genealogy gave you cannot be improved on by some knuckle head “artist” with an ink pen…

“All work & no play make Jack a dull boy.”

“THE DRAWBACK” Oh, I get it.

After my Dad passed away, going through his stuff came across an ancient photo of Lola. At last I saw the girl whose name had been on his bicep for 50+ years! She dumped him soon after the tattoo.

“KICK ME” would have been better.

It’s probably better than the one your sister would give you.

I was concerned when my son was a teenager that he would get a tattoo. He always seemed so interested in those his friends got, collected pictures. Finally his little sister asked and he said, “Are you kidding. That would hurt.” Felt reassured about a lot of things. He became a nurse years later. Evidently he was serious about not wanting things to hurt.

wonder if people realize how really ugly these scars will look when they are in thier 70’s?

I was always concerned that I would get an artist who couldn’t spell. " MOTHRA" just didn’t seem right.

The backwards baseball cap is a dead giveaway.

One of my best friends became a tattoo artist. There’s big money in it. To me, the saddest thing in the world is to see a woman with an absolutely perfect body marred by cartoons.

When he gets thrown into jail and he is some big guy’s biotch for the night, that’s what “big guy’s” going to see.

One of my co-workers was once on a rant, and he said (no kidding) “Damn it, if I had my way, everyone would be an anarchist.” He didn’t understand why the other two of us cracked up laughing.

Don’t cover up what G od had created or in today’s old god “mother earth” or maybe the moon or whatever you worship.

I’m not allowed to speak my tattoo theory out loud.

I never wanted a tattoo, but I always said that, if I were to get one, it would be across my abdomen and read: “DO NOT OPEN. No user-serviceable parts inside.”

One of my favorite NBA plays was asked why he didn’t have any tattoos. Answer: “You don’t put bumper stickers on a Mercedes.”

Sniff…mine said “Huge Disappointment” and it was printed backward so that I could always read it in a mirror.

Ruin the skin look.

When my wife turned 65, she got a lotus tattoo on her wrist. Ten years later, it still looks pretty good.

And so does she.

Dad might think it’s no drawback at all.

I read about a tattoo artist that found out his girlfriend was cheating on him and when she wanted a fairy tattoo on her back he did a tat of a steaming pile of dog doo.