Breaking Cat News by Georgia Dunn for June 14, 2020

Pucky! That’s all I have to say.

She’s a Siren. Of course. Look out for the rocks, Count!

A trashy romance novel that is clearly Not Safe For Cats, if Puck’s reaction is any indication! Hmph.

Lupin and Elvis have the right idea.

You can only carry suspension of disbelief so far, after all.

Send me that novel. It’s gotta be better than what I’m watching.

I get that some people enjoy this genre, but man, this is not where my suspension of disbelief abilities lie. Yawn.

Also, can you be both “demure” and “feisty” in the same descriptive sentence? Those seem mutually exclusive. (Yes, I know that’s the joke here.)

This sounds like a mashup of about five different stories I’ve read (or heard about). The only thing missing is the secret that he’s really a duke . . . but if he’s a Viking chief, he can’t be an English duke. And he’s a vampire, and she’s a mermaid, so the werewolf/selkie romance will have to wait for the next one in the series. (That one I have read!)

Puck in the last panel. It’s like he’s human!

Hey, Elvis! A mermaid these days can be whatever she wants to be.

And poor, innocent Puckie! Woman, you should know to keep your spicier romances far away from impressionable minds!

Two tongues out.

I’m with Elvis when it comes to romance novels—YUCK! However, once the kids are in school full time and Georgia has more time for her drawing board, I think she could have a second career drawing covers for bodice ripper paperbacks;)

I understand Pucky’s blush but not sure I’m understanding the fangs?

In the real world, there’s a romance series by Sandra Hill about a group of vampire Vikings from the past who time travel in to our present. Most end up as SEALS, cowboys, etc. No romance cliche was left out.

SUNDAY FUNDAY TIME Leave a joke, a happy saying, share a project you’re doing, etc. Let’s get some smiles going!

♫”Writing, writing, writing,

While the vampire’s biting,

Keep on writing stories, Rawhyde!”♫

He looks a bit like Wigglesworth from Swan Eaters, no?

What cat likes living in water?An octopuss!

What’s a cats favourite button on a remote?Paws.

What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?One is a pause at the end of a clause and the other has claws at the end of its paws.

It’s the great “let’s see how many different genres we can combine and still get people to read it” story!

Where does a cat go when it loses its tail?The retail store.

I agree with both Lupin and Elvis sticking their tongues out in disgust. I hate romance novels.

Where is Robin? This story has his name written all over it. Considering his fondness for Our Nine Lives and all.

Published by Mills and Boon, no doubt.

Elvis, a mermaid who went to medical school and then fell in love with a vampire Viking cowboy in the Wild West is pretty hard to believe, but still less ridiculous than the stuff about birds and eggs people were trying to foist on me.

That is so wild, with every possible romance mystery element. It has to be a fun off the wall novel. Reminds me of “Blazing Saddles” Too silly and funny. Another movie that is full of disbelieve. It was fun to ID the different stolen plots.

I wonder who “Jacqueline Betty” is. I seem to remember that Tommy and Sophie’s Woman is a “Jackie”, perhaps this is a tongue-in-cheek cameo?

Romance Jam. The reality slops out the side of the sandwich and makes a mess on the floor.

She’s gonna collect kids like she collects cats!

Egad. It’s the sort of nonsense fiction that I deeply despise!

Gotta talk to the cover artist….Erik’s hair is good but Siren’s bodice needs way more heaving bosom.

Rational Elvis. Yeah, who can find a mermaid in the Southwest? And, one who went to medical school? Right.

And Robin thinks Our IX Lives is rubbish. Ha! That can’t hold a candle to this genre.

Love, love, love the Viking horned cowboy hat. And such pretty purple hair for our heroine.

Elvis, sometimes there’s just too much going on to fit everything into the blurb on the back of the book.

Love your taste in books, Georgia! Aside from my beloved historical fiction, I adore Christine Feehan and Sherrilyn McQueen (for those who don’t know, Sherrilyn finally got away from her abusive husband and took back her power.. and her maiden name!)

Bodice ripped in three, two, one….

Love outraged Elvis at the end, and that he used the pronoun ‘IT’!

Sounds like something MaryJanice Davidson would write, only she’d make it funny intentionally

It reminds me of Steve Goodman telling David Allen Coe that he (Steve) had written the perfect country song….

A viking prince cowboy vampire? Seriously? What’s next…talking cats running a news station?

Such an imaginative and hilarious parody.

Oh my gouda! Cheesy as a 70’s fondue or queso con corny.

Think the robber ladies would agree, this Erik the horny hat hunk is like all the Village People rolled into one. “Borrow” that book, ladies.

And Dr. Coral will be riding side saddle with her cowboy. Will she become Rawhyde as a result?

Oh, they’ll get along swimmingly. Until they don’t.

“She is a mermaid on dry land and the world is her ocean.” (J. Ironword)

This must be the Great American Romance Novel!

Nope.

Hm. Consider a feline news agency. Owned and operated by pussyfooting nosy bodies …

Nice sour puss

This made me LOL! It’s how I’ve felt about some of these scoff/horror romance novels for some time.

Yeeaaaaah, that seems about right for a trashy romance novel.

It’s like Jane Austen Undead Novels for the New World! (Which, I’ve been told, aren’t particularly good.)

If it were well-crafted humorous satire, I’d buy it, for sure.

Semi OT – “Take It Away Tommy” needs more reviews at Amazon.

This was a big LOL today. Including all of the comments.

OT – See today’s Ten Cats for a wonderful poem “Ten Cats Sleeping”

Magical realism in the romance genre.

Vikings, cowboys, demure/feisty lady doctors, campfire vampires, time travel…this book has it all!

Another bestseller from D’Ancy LeGarde?

My mother had a spell of reading the western based romances. she talked about them as if they were based on fact. We started calling them “historical documents” . Thankfully she is now reading actual westerns.

You do realize I had to Google this book title to see if I could buy it?

Andrew Sleeth’s comment just reminded me that there are two series that combine Jane Austin and the detective genre but my aging mind has apparently lost the brain cells that contained author names. But one series has Jane herself as a detective and the other stars the Darcy’s as sleuths among the uppercrust. Can anyone help me out and prod my memory?

What a parody!

What a delicious mash-up—Viking prince (ancient), vampire mermaid (or wait, is the Viking the vampire?)—never mind, too gorgeous for words. Interesting that the kitties seem more aware of the plot flaws than their mistress is.

Horrible day yesterday. I was mowing and need gas. I plucked one kitten from under the car and placed him on the porch. Looked under the car to make sure no other kitten was there and drove to the store. Turning off the car at the gas pump another kitten darted out from SOMEWHERE and ran into the street. The motorcyclist TRIED to swerve but hit the kitten. It was still alive when I got to it but didn’t make it. I failed even though I tried.

Today is Cupcake Day. Seems appropriate, somehow, to the theme of today’s BCN.

I was never terribly fond of cupcakes—always got the frosting on or up my nose. Not being a hefelump, this was no fun. Since I grew a beard and magnificent handlebar mustache, they are … problematic. Cakes one can always use a fork—and there is more of them. One cupcake, after all, is never enough. And if there happens to be more than one flavor, well …

Please don’t bring up taffy apples or barbecued spare ribs.

There was one commercial confection of which I was inordinately fond as a child. I don’t even know if they are still made. Hostess™ was the brand, I believe. I think they were called “Snowballs” or maybe “Igloos.” They consisted of a chocolate cake hemisphere with a small amount of creme filling in the center. The whole was covered in a 1/4 inch thick marshmallow-coconut shavings sheath. When I ate them, none of it went up my nose because the marshmallow-coconut layer was firm and not sticky. Anyone remember what those were/are called?

What? You really want to talk about taffy apples and barbecued ribs? The taffy apples should be obvious. Anyone who has had a small child swing from their mustache knows why. As for barbecued ribs, with sauce, well, just think of Chthulu having a meal. See? Cupcakes are much less disquieting for your morning.

Ugh. I read a few romance novels as a teenager because all the others girls were reading them. I came to hate them. The women in them are usually idiots. The guys are all hateful jerks who suddenly become angels. Yeah, right. These books sucker thousands of women into marrying bad men, thinking they will change. And I’m sure one time in a million or two, that actually happens. The rest of the time, no. I was a 911 operator for the police for several years, and I know the result. Sorry if I found cynical, but when on a normal day, one out of four calls is for “domestic abuse” (which term always sounds to me like someone spilled juice on the carpet and does not describe the horrors I heard about) — and on family get-together holidays (Christmas, Thanksgiving, Mother’s Day) the “domestic abuse” calls are more like 75%, reality becomes more convincing than fantasy.

I’m not too fond of romance novels, either.

Are there such things as cat mermaids? Just wondering.

So people are harshing on this plot but have no problems with Baba Mouse running away with the Owl?

I suspect Erik’s final line will be: “So long and thanks for the fish.”

I’m with you ElBiff…… Aye!!!

I’m with Elvis on this one.

Meanwhile, Back on the Nile

Queen Catshepsut the Golden: It has come to my attention that there has been controversy regarding the Royal Library. Elvis-Anum, would you please enlighten all of us here?

Elvis-Anum: The Library is a repository of many papyri of rare and valuable information. What happens if everyone takes them out and reads them?

Lupinium: Uh…We would all learn things?

Elvis-Anum: But I’m supposed to be the keeper of all this info.

Beatrixia: We can put some rules in place to make sure everyone takes good care of the papyri.

The Queen: That’s a good idea. Puckmosis, will you and Bea start creating the rules?

Puckmosis: We would be honored, Your Majesty. We should start by taking an inventory of what all we have.

Elvis-Anum: Begin with the series of legendary loves: Romeow and Juliecat, Antonpurr and Cleocatra, and especially The Mewmaid and the Vampire Viking Cowcat.

Wow, a “bodice-ripper” with a Viking, vampire, gunslinging, fashion-backward hero and a demure/feisty female doctor/mermaid – how can they possibly find happiness; how can they possibly not?

Georgia, your imagination has outdone itself on this one! Even better than the wildest Our IX Lives story!

I think Panel #1 should be made into a T-shirt or poster for all of us who cannot STAND romance novels. Lupin’s expression is perfect!

STILL a better love story than Twilight.

Every time I see the name Erik and Vikings mentioned, I get Ray Stevens song Erik the Awful stuck in my head.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TItvX53sp2s

Puck is such a romantic.

I share Elbiff’s fist shaking.

Poor Pucky. He wasn’t ready for that.

Was this before or after they went at it hot and heavy, Puck?

Either of these characters could inspire a great BCW costume!

From the sigh in the last panel, I’m predicting some tough times ahead for the Man.

I’m predicting this novel will be the basis for a movie made in the not-too-distant future. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcUkKltAidM

They made a TV show out of that book called “Dr. Fin, Medicine Woman”.

This SOOO needs to be made…

There seem to be a lot of romance book haters here today. And yet there are many authors of romance novels whose works have given pleasure to far many more people than just me over the years. Many of the books I bought I gave away. Some, like the novels of Jayne Ann Krentz in her three pen names (She’s a Seattle-ite, Denny Wheeler!) I keep on my shelves and in my Audible files and re-read.

I agree with Elvis! A Southwestern mermaid with a medical degree?? Clearly, it must be a tabloid. :p Gosh, what would their children be like? Royal Viking vampires mermaid tails! What a mix! :D

Well. Apropos of nothing, it is very embarrassing to read a romance novel when your cats or dogs are laying on you snoring.

“I must go now, dear love!” … “But where, dearest one?!” … “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service!”

I once saw a romance novel about a vampire Viking guardian angel.