That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for April 07, 2020

Amazing the amount of ear wax you can get out with this thing!

“That looks like fun, but before we proceed lets come up with a safe word.”

Kristina knew she was in for a wild time when she saw Sven with the beer funnel.

Elmer, for the last time, a helmet does not protect you from the virus.

“Are you the boogie woogie bugle boy of Company B, or the plumber who’s come to unclog the toilet?”

Okay we’ve practiced the right to bare arms. Now what?

darling, next time let’s try it without the vuvuzela…

Her personal alarm call.

“Come on in to the photo booth,Tony. We need to get that thing in your hand on film. “

“No thanks I already own one. It’s in me right now. Can’t you tell by the expression on my face?”

Please, don’t call me “your majesty”, call me Liz. Now “rise” Sir Richard.

Get off the throne, Liz! We need to get going before your dad shows up.

Does this helmet make me look manly?

Here’s your payoff for breaking that lamp my parent’s own.

Guy complaining about chick only showing one shoulder while playing strip Rock-Scissors- Paper.

He had to explain to the little woman how he was all set for his bit-part in Ben-Hur until a chariot rolled over his horn.

Here’s ten bucks, now take your flugelhorn and go away.

Though he has a plan to go far/ she’s reluctant to go quite SO far/ She accustomed to “kinks”/ but she honestly thinks/ twice, before she submits to the Shofar.

“Of course I’m sure men need breast cancer exams too,” she said. “Trust me; I’m, uh, a licensed professional and everything.”

“Check it out. I just invented the PIPE! Screw you Zig-Zag. This baby’ll hold a whole ounce!”

She gets the bling, and he keeps his thing.

Good thing he was still wearing the metal helmet when they buried him!

“The barber did a ‘unique’ job on your hair. Is there a guaranteed refund policy?”

Heimdal Returns Brisingamen to Freya: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Nils_Andersson_-_eimdal_%C3%B6verl%C3%A4mnar_Brisingasmycket_till_Freja.jpg 

(best viewed by Google Chrome, with Google Translate added to chrome://extensions, which can automatically translate most pages as necessary) has info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

https://prabook.com/web/nils.andersson/2105352 

http://emp-web-84.zetcom.ch/eMP/eMuseumPlus?service=ExternalInterface&module=artist&objectId=7299&viewType=detailView 

https://books.google.com/books?id=AuEaBwAAQBAJ&q=Nils&pg=PT163#v=onepage&q=Nils&f=false 

https://sok.riksarkivet.se/sbl/Presentation.aspx?id=5808&forceOrdinarySite=true 

all have info, or links that point to more info, about this artist (again, Chrome can translate as necessary), perhaps in addition to what’s pointed to by the title URL. First work by him used here.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2421 (April 6, 2020) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment.

Oh, the necklace is cool and all, but show me how this other thing works.

“When you said you were ‘horny’, I had a different vision..”

thats right Hurk, just move your hand a little forward and feel the lump. she said.

Freyja was a human in Asia and was the favorite concubine of Odin, King of Asialand. When this woman wanted to buy a golden necklace (no name given) forged by four dwarves (named Dvalinn, Alfrik, Berling, and Grer), she offered them gold and silver but they replied that they would only sell it to her if she would lie a night by each of them. She came home afterward with the necklace and kept silent as if nothing happened. But a man called Loki somehow knew it, and came to tell Odin. King Odin commanded Loki to steal the necklace, so Loki turned into a fly to sneak into Freyja’s bower and stole it. When Freyja found her necklace missing, she came to ask king Odin. In exchange for it, Odin ordered her to make two kings, each served by twenty kings, fight forever unless some christened men so brave would dare to enter the battle and slay them. She said yes, and got that necklace back. Under the spell, king Högni and king Heðinn battled for one hundred and forty-three years, as soon as they fell down they had to stand up again and fight on. But in the end, the Christian lord Olaf Tryggvason, who has a great fate and luck, arrived with his christened men, and whoever slain by a Christian would stay dead. Thus the pagan curse was finally dissolved by the arrival of Christianity. After that, the noble man, king Olaf, went back to his realm.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Br%C3%ADsingamen