Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for April 07, 2020

That’s why they invented McDonald’s.

Or puts a new roll of toilet paper when it’s empty. If you can find toilet paper that is.

I can relate to this.

I had the opposite problem today. I ran a cup of hot water using the keurig machine for my evening cup of tea (yeah, I know it’s lazy, but so is using a microwave, and that was my other option). But my tea tasted awfully strong, and not quite entirely like tea. It didn’t taste terrible, but it didn’t taste particularly good, either. Then it struck me… I forgot to take the coffee out of the machine after brewing a cup of coffee in the morning. So I had just brewed a cup of coffee with a tea bag in it.

(FWIW, the interior of the cup is black. Otherwise I could have seen that it wasn’t just water dripping into the cup.)

Now you know who’s really to blame!

Wait until she finds out that same jerk ate her lunch too…

I am the coffee genie in the house. It doesn’t happen unless I set it up. But I can’t complain. My wife is the laundry genie. I’d rather have my job than hers.

Obligatory pun: Making coffee is a man’s job. It’s in the Bible: Hebrews.

She never leaves the toilet seat up for her hubby.

Yay for keurig!

My coworkers want to sit on my lap all day long.

I had to make a video of myself answering questions including why I would be a good fit for a job. I ended it with a promise never to leave an empty coffee pot.I was told that this cemented their decision to hire me.

Because I don’t have a good memory, I keep all sorts of information on my phone. More than once I have been in the middle of a conversation, running around the house looking for my phone and then realizing I have it in my hand.

Well, at least we don’t have to wash anything.

Hey…Who left this mess in my kitchen? Oh yeah… I live alone!

Good point, no one else to blame.