Last Kiss by John Lustig for January 24, 2020

You got that right sweet lips.

Of course it wasn’t a toy. Something that big should be called an ‘aide’

ANYTHING is a sex toy, if that is what you are into.

Not trying to be controversial, but shouldn’t ‘Medium Rare Maid’ be brown skinned?

Don’t be a hater!

Do you know how long it took me to cook that joke up?

No! Put down that sexy cattle prod!!

Does a cattle prod hurt? The answer might shock you.

the colonel never could figure out which end was the prod’s business end…

Not Colonel Mustard, but (is he missing another “t”?) Colonel Tiger Balm. He was much kinkier.

And I’m at the top of the list.

A cattle prod is not considered assault until you add the battery.

Jourdan: beautiful work today, amigo.

Your ‘Medium’ looks suspiciously like Eve Arden and I doubt she would have ever seen a cattle prod.

**But it was used as a sex toy. With disastrous results!

So the Colonel learned that mustard wasn’t a good lubricant?

Vicar Victor Viagra thought his inclinations were hidden by his vestments.

I’m shocked…..a cattle prod?

Ah! A crime passionnel! (Been wanting an opportunity to use that phrase for some time now.)

So, using her amazing powers of deduction, she gathered the group together and handed each of them a cattle prod. Suddenly turning off the lights, she waited a few moments and turned them back on – seeing the smile on Martha’s face she knew she had her woman. She still didn’t know who the killer was, but at least she had her woman…

It’s a start. Now eliminate all who were elsewhere and you have your culprit.