Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 14, 2020

Does the job health plan cover alcohol rehab and/or insulin for diabetes?

How did Rat avoid being covered in ink?

Slight flaw in Rat’s logic – no one is going to pay Rat to drink Mai Tais.

The hard part of that is “get paid”… Also mai tais? Seriously? That much sugar is bad for you!

I think that’s called being a Kardashian.

It works? I’m going to try that.

Doesn’t count if you’re paying yourself, Rat.

Sorry but I can’t see Rat as a Mai Tais guy.

I thought Pig had a similar dream at one point.

He didn’t say anything about being gainfully employed.

I once attended a lecture where a guy implied that writing down your goals practically guaranteed you would reach them. I didn’t get a chance to talk to him, but I would have loved to ask him whether he thought it would work if wrote down “I will win at least $10,000,000 in the lottery by the end of the year”.

All this time showing Rat with a beer in his hand … now we find out he’s a mixed drink rat ! … Croc Power !

The gentleman behind “How to Drink” has figured that out. Of course it also includes knowing how to make cocktails and research the history.

I’m not sure if I want to get paid to do what I like. I’ll lose my amateur status.

Well, if you figure that rat et al. are all being paid to be characters in this strip, by frame 4, voilà!, there’s a mai tai.

Probably the best comic strip job for Pig would be the one Li’l Abner used to have, mattress tester, which involved sleeping on them all day. But for Rat, if he can get a job insulting people all day, that should be a good fit. There should be actual jobs like that.

Years ago, I had an appointment with a job counselor. He asked what my dream job was. I told him I wanted to be a marijuana tester for the federal government. The counselor started laughing. Seemed to think I was joking.

SIGN ME UP AND POINT ME TO THE BEACH!

Rat has no vision.

Rat’s liver won’t survive that job for long.

Rat is using a pencil…

There’s a lot to be said for being a professional drunkard. Sure the pay is lousy, but the hours are flexible and you get to be your own boss.

This is why hate exercises like this.

Rat’s idea is fun, I guess. Mai tais are not my adult beverage of choice, however….