Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 21, 2019

cher never dies

The real Cher has been dead for 5 years. A drag queen impersonator has been making public appearances claiming to be her.

Pig should have called Spirit Airlines.

what sort of nuns was Pig having in mind, Buddhist or Catholic? (yes, there are also such thing as Buddhist nuns)

Maybe pig is thinking about the blue lady with 6 arms.

Pig was confused because he once heard that there were 300 passengers in a plane that crashed, and nun survived.

Pig, even immortals die in plane crashes. Think of “the day the music died”.

Nuns don’t die they just change their habits!!

A flying nun. Must be Sally Field.

Don’t be silly…Cher has her own private jet.

He should have asked if Olivia de Havilland was on board. After watching The Adventures of Robin Hood with her and Errol Flynn (1938) I asked Alexa when she died; and I learned that she was still alive, at 103.

Pig needs to see someone….he’s off the deep end, again….

If this was the early 1990s, he could have asked if George Burns was on the flight. But we all have to go sometime.

How about Keith Richards?

Pig, it’s a Boeing 737 Max 8. It doesn’t make any difference who is on board.

Keith Richards is only 76, not that old, just looks old. I have plenty of friends older than that, but none can rock like Keith. Though I don’t think I will invite him to our next blood drive.

Nuns give me the heebie bajeebies.

The nuns could slap him if he gets a panic attack while in the air…

I had a great aunt who was a Catholic nun. She lived to be 104, almost 105.

I liked the Cher of Sonny and Cher. Since that long-ago breakup I have not been impressed.

Pig, if you really want a passenger who will never die, go with Betty White. She’ll outlive us all!

How about Elvis? People sight him wandering around all the time.

Or Keith Richards?

Will the cast of Rocky, Star Trek and/or The Fast and the Furious be on-board?

Or Kirk Douglas…

There’s a nun on every air disaster movie.

I went to a convent boarding school. Some of those nuns could only die if you drove a stake through their hearts.

Maybe OZZY’S on board !!!! lol

I’m pretty sure that 1 or 2 of the nuns in my parochial elementary & jr high (55 years ago) were many centuries old and had magic powers. For example, they had an eye in the back of their heads that could see right thru their veils such that we could not get away with any shenanigans.

Cher must 99% plastic/silicone by now. Not quite immortal, but shockingly close.

Pig? Pig remains supremely naive. As for me, I’d feel safer with the nuns than with Cher….

Whenever I fly somewhere, I always book tickets on two different flights. That way, if one plane crashes I’ll arrive safely on the other one.

Keith Richards, maybe?