Last Kiss by John Lustig for November 22, 2019

And it is a fine rug for shagging!

Ladies, he not getting the message, aim lower and use your feet in heels.

“Well I keep on thinking ’bout you

Sister Golden Hair Surprise" —

evidently the first blonde he’d dated where the carpet did match the drapes.

“Mithter Thmith is not in today but I’ll be happy to look up your thize.” Shoe salesman wth a lisp.

‘This job is crazy. Women come in all day and slap me in the face!’

‘Dude! That’s awful! How much money are we talking?’

‘$100.00 a week.’

‘Dude! That’s not much money for a job like that.’

‘I know, but it’s all I can afford.’

[paraphrase from Woody Allen][when he was young and way less pervy]

If Randy wasn’t so randy he wouldn’t get slapped.

carpet, eh?

he looks like more of the hardwood type.

It didn’t use to match. That is until that lady of the evening directed him to her local Merkin-tile exchange.

Give him more time, and it will be his last day at Randy’s Home Fashions…

Do the cuffs and collar match?

How is it you’re still single?

I also can have this in Brazilian? (Smack!)

, but I must check to be sure…..

And, after 13 slaps, they also match his cheeks…

I’m not sure that came out right.

14…

Careful guys, #Metoo is watching..letters, you’ll get letters, and maybe lawsuits

I am sure that his fantasy is to lay and stretch carpet

She was not only surprised when he demonstrated – she was floored…

“…or it would if there were still carpet.”

Suicide blonde. Dyed by her own hands. When her roots grow in.