Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 22, 2019

Stephan probably only attends parties of people with large libraries.

Telephone books beat people

Stephan should show that books beat Rat!

What? You don’t judge people by the books they have in their homes? Or the lack of books?

Stephan, you will never find a partner that way. Maybe you could join or start a book club.

I feel Pastis’ pain. I’m an introvert and would rather read a book than to suffer the small talk that people at parties are known for.

Never did like parties, either.

I’m with Pastis on this.

Books are much more interesting, unpredictable and quiet than people.

Meat parties sound fun…

Nothing wrong with small talk. But…I’ll let others have my share.

In Rat’s case, baseball bats beat people.

Classic introvert. I’m guessing this is a cartoonist’s prerequisite.

so that’s why i never get invited back…

Books don’t beat people, people with books beat people with books.

Although, if you can’t find books, you can’t beat people with books.

Or maybe you would get invited more if you took off you hat.

And yet somehow, I thought Stephan would be fun at parties…!

Pastis is a Belly-button contemplating Zen Wierdo! No wonder his wife left him!

I never even liked parties as a young person. Made it hard to socialize in college. Now? I would love to be the Alm-Uncle (from the story of Heidi) and live on top of a mountain, all alone with some goats for company. Everywhere else is too “people-y”.

Stephan next party you get an invite to bring Larry Croc. The books will be there when you get back! … Croc Power !

He is right. You can’t stabilize a shaky table with people.

That will get you up on assault charges.

Books beat people only if you now how to wield a book.

Siberian Huskies beat people.

Comic books beat people.

This leaves out judging people by the books they own. “Tolkien? Good. Stephen King? Good. Tom Clancy? I’m getting a little worried here. Twilight?! FIFTY SHADES OF GREY?!!!! That’s it. I’m leaving.”

I agree! Rather have books than crowds of people any day!

Party vegetable here as well.

But the parties I get invited to don’t have nearly as many books as I have.

So I’m off somewhere with the cat.

Classic introverted behavior. I wonder if most cartoonists are introverts? I remember Bill Watterson (Calvin and Hobbes) is famously introverted, and I think Charles Shultz had a reputation for being that way most of the time as well.

By the way, that’s definitely me at parties as well. (I really wish we had an edit comments feature here.)

OMFG yes. Why can I only like this once? I’m stealing this and making Christmas cards out of this.

Parties? What are those

I can’t draw but I knew I had something in common with Stephan

Wait. You mean Stacy actually lets you go out in public, Pastis?!

Surprised Rat did not draw this himself about Pastis.

I tend to be this way too. I usually have my latest book with me, so I can sneak off to read a bit. Or if it’s an EBook, I’ll just openly read it. So many people these days are scrolling on their phones, I figure what’s the difference.

Or plants.

I like catching up with people – I would rather sit down though. I hate all the standing at parties.

My wife does enough small talking for the both of us.

I’ve never been big on “social gatherings” and parties and when not able to avoid going, park myself in a corner and “people watch” and listen.

“Beat?” Don’t give Rat any ideas.

Yep, this one goes on the cube wall.

Is this really true, Stephan?

This reminds me of one of my favorite LIFE IN HELL strips. Binky is thrown out of a party, and the house it’s in, because he wanted to read a book in the next room, and it was bringing other people down. Pacing outside, he grumbles “I can’t just shake my boogie on cue alla time…”

Did anyone else notice Stephan’s hair looks kind of pink? (Apologies if this got discussed in the past.)

Gotta say I agree with him.

One of my high school teachers hit me on the head with a book. A BIG book.

(it didn’t help)

YUP.

I can relate. I was at a party a few weeks ago and I wound up going to the garage (no bookshelf to browse) to get away from people until I could politely leave.

They would be texted each other….not talking. You’re better off.

If I got an invitation to a party with a bookshelf like that, I’d be grateful! Unless they’re all Rush Limbaugh books.

Is that why Stephen writes books?

Books don’t use social media. Books win.

There’s no shame in being an introvert. I am. But, you really need to put yourself out a bit. A few people here and there won’t kill you. You’ll be exhausted, but you’ll have done your bit as a social animal. You may also find someone you want to spend more time with.

Ain’t that the truth, Steph. That’s why I don’t go to parties. Plus I don’t drink alcohol. Not for religious reasons, or anything. That’s just my personal choice

Amen.

I’m not people, Pastis. I’m a bear. You can talk to me in a party. After I’m done eating all the food there, that is.

BOOK: Something you read that doesn’t contain any kind of battery, internet connected transceiver, nor cancer causing controversy.

Wow! Think about a party at a library!

Cool dude.

Almost ANY book beats people.

Rat is Pastis’s alter ego.

Thank God for bookshelves.

I always check out bookshelves at a party (and often find people doing the same to talk with) but I’m more likely to be seeking out any cat or dog to talk to.

People wrote those books.

If it’s a bad book, you can still beat your head with it.

Where do you find a friend that hosts parties that actually has a bookshelf like that one??? Bring a backpack to the party both to return read books and to pickup some more.

Books are our reward for having an attention span.

I’m with Stephan on this one.

Unless you don’t want to interact with people, you should put a “Hi – I’m Stephen Pastis; Creator of Pearls before Swine” badge on. (And maybe people will give you some ideas for strips that don’t involve puns!)

I’m the guy siting on the side playing with the family pet.

I say all parties should be held at libraries…something for everyone.

Chain saw beats phone book….

Guess what, Cartoon-Boy. Today, I’m on your side! Back in my college days, I was an official Old Poop in my social club (fraternity).

Books beat people every time!

Depends on the books. And the people.

Can beat people with books

This is an accurate description of me at a party. I’ll be over there in the corner judging you by the contents of your bookshelf.

Sartre: Hell is other people.

Especially hardcovers.

“I don’t go to parties baby. People tend to freak me out.”

Sure that isn’t me at the prom?

That’s me when I get tired of people. I would read the books from the start if it wasn’t being rude.

Thank god! I’m not the only one! It’s just a shame that most people don’t own books.