Phoebe and Her Unicorn by Dana Simpson for October 23, 2019

Try intimidation. It lasts, and doesn’t have the potential to go too far.

good try, Marigold

(Blows raspberry) Rookie!

You get an “E” for “Effort,” Marigold.

Well you tried, Marigold. Should have put a spell on it.

Ka-TERROR! Oh, wait, Rip Haywire is next door.

I was petrified of doing badly at school. My son, however simply didn’t give a shrug in the dark. For him, homework was just an extension of being in the jail we called school. You have to know your victim if you want to actually scare them.

Given how the Shield of Boringness works, I wouldn’t be all that surprised if a teacher did believe Phoebe’s claim that a Unicorn messed with her homework, while still stating that it doesn’t get her off the hook for a low grade.

Dunno about that, Mari. “Losing” my homework always gave me a strange sense of “freedom”, until I got caught out, that is!

I already gave you some pointers. Considering this world, you need to seriosuly up your game. Or don’t if you think there are enough scary things already. “I’m not afraid of people dressed as monsters. I’m afraid of monsters dressed as people.”

Twilight Sparkle would freak out (whether that bodes ill for anyone else depends on how she goes about freaking out). You have been warned Marigold, don’t mess with purple smart.

Maybe Marigold should watch the unleashing of the menagerie in Cabin In The Woods. If she isn’t completely outraged about how unicorns are represented in that movie she might learn how to scar Phoebe for life…okay not a good idea.

Spelling homework? Does she attend Hogwarts?

You know…watching a unicorn try to be scary is like watching Mr. Spock from Star Trek try and do a belly laugh. It just doesn’t seem like that’s how things ought to be. :P

“Boo! Boo I say! … I am not Baljeet. I am the scariest thing known to man- a failed math test! … You can run, but it won’t be to the college of your choice, I tell you!” (Baljeet, Phineas and Ferb, One Good Scare Ought to Do It).

Hard to imagine Marigold ever being “terrifying,” bless her heart.

At least it’s not the Nightmare Night tea party.