Mr. Bounder: Anyway, umm, you’re interested in one of our holidays, are you?
Mr. Smoketoomuch: Yes, that’s right. I saw your advert in the blassified ads.
Mr. Bounder: Now then, umm, about the holiday…
Mr. Smoketoomuch: Being herded into countless Hotel Miramars and Bellevues, Bontinentals with their international luxury modern roomettes…
Mr. Bounder: Oh, yes.
Mr. Smoketoomuch: …and swimming pools full of draft Red Barrel and fat German businessmen pretending to be acrobats and forming pyramids and frightening the children and…
Mr. Bounder: Oh, yes.
Mr. Smoketoomuch: And once a week there’s an excursion to local Roman remains, where you can buy Cherry Aid and melted ice cream…
Mr. Bounder: Be quiet!
Mr. Smoketoomuch: …and bleedin’ Watney’s Red Barrel.
Mr. Bounder: Shut up!
Mr. Smoketoomuch: And one night they take you to a typical restaurant with local…
Mr. Bounder: Shut up!
Mr. Smoketoomuch: …atmosphere and color and you sit next to a…
Mr. Bounder: Shut up!
Mr. Smoketoomuch: …party from Rhyl who keep singing “I love the Costa Brava!”
Mr. Bounder: Shut up!
Mr. Smoketoomuch: “I love the Costa Brava!” And you get cornered by some drunken green grocer from Luton with an Instamatic camera and last Tuesday’s ‘Daily Express’…
Mr. Bounder: Please be quiet!
Mr. Smoketoomuch: And you can’t even get a glass of Watney’s Red Barrel because you’re still in England with the bloody bar closes every time you’re thirsty. And the kids are crying and vomiting and breaking the plastic ashtrays. They keep telling you won’t be another hour, but you know damn well your plane is still in Iceland, because it had to turn back, trying to take a party of Swedes to…
Radish the wordsmith over 4 years ago
Mr. Bounder: Anyway, umm, you’re interested in one of our holidays, are you?
Mr. Smoketoomuch: Yes, that’s right. I saw your advert in the blassified ads.
Mr. Bounder: Now then, umm, about the holiday…
Mr. Smoketoomuch: Being herded into countless Hotel Miramars and Bellevues, Bontinentals with their international luxury modern roomettes…
Mr. Bounder: Oh, yes.
Mr. Smoketoomuch: …and swimming pools full of draft Red Barrel and fat German businessmen pretending to be acrobats and forming pyramids and frightening the children and…
Mr. Bounder: Oh, yes.
Mr. Smoketoomuch: And once a week there’s an excursion to local Roman remains, where you can buy Cherry Aid and melted ice cream…
Mr. Bounder: Be quiet!
Mr. Smoketoomuch: …and bleedin’ Watney’s Red Barrel.
Mr. Bounder: Shut up!
Mr. Smoketoomuch: And one night they take you to a typical restaurant with local…
Mr. Bounder: Shut up!
Mr. Smoketoomuch: …atmosphere and color and you sit next to a…
Mr. Bounder: Shut up!
Mr. Smoketoomuch: …party from Rhyl who keep singing “I love the Costa Brava!”
Mr. Bounder: Shut up!
Mr. Smoketoomuch: “I love the Costa Brava!” And you get cornered by some drunken green grocer from Luton with an Instamatic camera and last Tuesday’s ‘Daily Express’…
Mr. Bounder: Please be quiet!
Mr. Smoketoomuch: And you can’t even get a glass of Watney’s Red Barrel because you’re still in England with the bloody bar closes every time you’re thirsty. And the kids are crying and vomiting and breaking the plastic ashtrays. They keep telling you won’t be another hour, but you know damn well your plane is still in Iceland, because it had to turn back, trying to take a party of Swedes to…
Mr. Bounder: Shut up!
.
Monty Python, Travel Agent script exert http://www.montypython.net/scripts/travagent-long.php