Barney & Clyde by Gene Weingarten; Dan Weingarten & David Clark for August 14, 2019

I’d settle for Joel McCrea.

Try for George Raft. Settle for Humphery Bogart.

Don’t bogart that joint, my friend.

There are days I’d settle for Gilbert Gottfried.

RANDOLPH SCOTT!! (puts hat over heart)

Dressed up like a million dollar trooper (the family has the money). Tryin’ hard to look like Gary Cooper.

When did he lose his hair??

Could be worse. He could end up looking like David Attenborough.

Whatever happened to Randolph Scott? Ridin’ the range alone.Whatever happened to Gene and Tex, and Roy and Rex, the Durango Kid? Whatever happened to Randolph Scott? His horse, plain as can be. Whatever happened to Randolph Scott, has happened to the best of me. – The Statler Brothers