Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 27, 2019

You forgot beer. It’s important to stay hydrated.

throw in a tres leches cake and some fruit juice and you have all four food groups

If you can balance those while you take a nice long walk, they could be healthy.

how are you going to eat those four pounds, Pig, when you got two pounds in each hand?

Pig, if you are not healthy at least you will be chubby and surely delicious.

For years, my doctor kept telling me to eat more green vegetables, but everything I tried would spoil before I got around to eating it. Finally, I found a green vegetable that would actually keep, and I have some at every meal.

Dill pickles.

Followed by chocolate and ice cream?

I eat a balanced diet: 50% healthy and 50% junk.

Keg Party@ Rat’s! Pig bringing Snax!

The scales of “Diet” justice …… Croc Power !

Yep. My doctor told me to cut not ear red meat, so now I order my steaks well done.

That’s a diet I could stick to.

Ummmm if you say sooooooo

I wonder what his LDL and HDL levels are eating that way… ;-)

All right… Let’s pick some nits…

When speaking of weight, people don’t say “two pounds worth of something”, they simply say “two pounds of something”. The word “worth” indicates value, implying that pig bought the cheese and fries (or, more accurately, chips) in England, where they use pounds sterling. So, can anyone here tell us the price of cheese and chips in England, and whether this would actually be balanced?

two pounds of beer, I wonder how many cans that would be.

Went to a happy hour yesterday. Nachos and a beer == last week’s weight loss all back.

Some pork would go really well with the chili fries and cheese.

OK funny-Porky, juggle them without spilling a drop.

Who CARES about HDL, LDL, or “healthy”? Pigs are Supposed to get fat!!!

That’s why I have Sam Adams and Ben and Jerrys for breakfast every day.

Shouldn’t one of them at the desk of their creator with a baseball bat for that pun?

A margarita with a handful of peanuts is a perfect diet:Salt, citrus, water, protein, fat and carbs.

Sometimes I suspect Pig is just pretending to be dumb….

Don’t you think those blocks of cheese are gonna be hard to dip into pig