Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 11, 2019

Time to go to bed.

I knew yesterday that Rat would be coming with a baseball bat.

Rat, the pun hating harbinger of the plague.

Do you think he bled?

1 fish, 2 fish, red fish, dead fish.

This cartoon I read is a blasted.

So my time it wasted.

“I’m too sexy for my sandwich…”

I see that Rat has switched back to a baseball bat from his spear.

Better make sure he bled red, otherwise Steph has pledged that Rat will dread rapping him on the head.

A mayophobe? You don’t see a lot of that. Mayophilia is far more common.

That’s sometimes no joke, somebody could suffer like that from a wheat or peanut allergy

So Rat hit Fred on the head and he is dead?

Fred has a fear of Mayonnaise? Send him to the Mayo Clinic.

One to the Head.

You know killing Pastis would only result in your universe turning into nothing but a mere Pokeball

A simple “No Thank You” would have sufficed, Fred.

Right in the head.

Maybe Stephan will be right in the Head after this?

Recycle Fred and there will be no dread ;-) …… Croc Power!

Stephen, Bewley could use your help this morning.

No, wait…he’s hanging onto life by a thread.

I read Fred’s said bread spread dread…shoulda stayed in bed, instead!

Look at that, a gluten free bat!

There! That’ll teach him….lol

so now allergies are under attack? i know someone that died from a food allergy.

enuf said.

Right said Fred.

They have researched that early exposure to Bamba, a snack with peanuts was helping to build up immunity overseas.https://www.thedailybeast.com/the-cure-for-deadly-peanut-allergy-is-peanuts.I have a friend whose son ended up in the hospital in the Philippines. They have armed guards that make you pay before leaving the hospital.

Pastis gets his just deserts. Alas. He will be missed by punsters everywhere.

fear of mayonnaise??

I’m…….too sexy for this strip…..

That Rat ain’t right in the head.

One of my favorite strips!!! Keep up the good work!!

So, can gluten be used as a lubricant?

Knocked right in the head

https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/the-trouble-wfred/n8883

I’m allergic to human beings. And, stupidity.

But, that seems redundant, doesn’t it?

Joke hurts my HEAD

Rat: Next time please save some for the rest of us.

REALLY, Stephen?!? REALLY?!? this is why I love you.

I haven’t seen the movie Drop Dead Fred in years.

And here I was wondering what happened to Neighbor Bob. I should have seen it coming.

Well, tan me hide when I’m dead, Fred!

Love it!

Since Pig’s response has nothing to do with wheat allergies (I’m calling mayo “bread spread” rather than two separate entities), that could have been left out entirely and the joke still works. Well, “joke” might bean overstatement. And “works”, too, for that matter.

I lived it ,anywho

LUVED IT!……$&$&#$#&#….damn auto spell

“RIght?” said Fred.

Fred has no street cred, not a shred, since he was arraigned and pled.

Fred’s head bled? Dread! Mayo spread:not on my bread!

https://youtu.be/ei1DvIgW_PU

I LOVE THESE!

The feds are here

These puns hurt my head, I’m going to bed