The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for May 24, 2019

When I was young, we were so poor we didn’t even have a bed. All we had was a cot.

Who said you can’t make a living by being in bed all day?

Face down, feet up? Must be one heckuva sleep position for that guy!

I didn’t know bedbugs liked toe jam.

Good night, sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite!

The male bedbug impregnates the female by puncturing her abdomen with what amounts to a dagger. The term for it is “traumatic insemination.” I suspect strongly that there aren’t too many females that would call anything leading to that “spoiling.”

So no one ever needs to foot the bill?

Let’s just finish and leave before the termites get here. There’s always something eating at that guy.

Don’t be such a wet blanket.

“I’m sick of New York, lets hop in a suitcase and move.”

Science fact: Evolution says we are moving to 4 toes.

Hahahahahaha……we slept in nice beds….BUT, we went to school in Death Valley…..in mid summer……crawling on hands and knees…….naked…….thru cacti patches…..uphill…. both ways…..yada yada

Bedbugs are not actually exclusive to beds, though.

One of many punchlines in which nonhumans forget they’re nonhuman.

So many kids in my house, we had to sleep standing up.