Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for March 26, 2019

Hoo boy. You can already tell how this storyline will go. Rich invalid rancher’s naive, romantically frustrated wife seeks companionship. Because her husband is too sick and frail to attend her needs. Enter slimy lothario to try and seduce her into killing her husband to claim the fortune. Although with guys like this, he probably also has plans to off her once they get the money.

Rip was right. It’s like an episode of the Hulk. Or Love American Style.

Here’s some advice, if Rip Haywire or Angela Lansbury walk into your town; leave.

Fifteen to life.

If the stranger is Rip Haywire, you get quite a clobbering. Then a feisty redhead reveals your plan to the authorities. Oh, and a snarky collie eats all your bacon.

KA-nvoluted backstory!

The postman always rings twice, but Rip Haywire only needs to punch once.

KA-Double Indemnity! Or maybe KA-Postman Always Rings Twice!

The part of The Incredible Hulk will now be played by Rip Haywire…

Story problem: What does a slimy lothario get when Rip Haywire drifts onto his ranch and catches wind of his schemes?

Uh oh, those two look like they’re up to no good. (KA-NO GOOD!)

Perfect set up for a Perry Mason episode.