Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for March 22, 2019

In these treacherous modern times, people don’t pretend to NOT know what their dogs (or cats or kids or neighbors or dire wolves…….) are doing. They BRAG about it!

You know they’re pretending when they somehow manage to avoid cars at the intersection.

So I pictured the guy in the chair talking to the dog, in Scooby-Doo’s voice, of course, saying “Hey you, get off my lawn.” But none of the on-line Scooby-Doo to English translators works.

Well it’s not a squirrel-free zone and Bert is the only nut in the yard…

They always know what they’re doing. They post the video’s on Facebook, along with a running commentary

I’m surprised that the guy, apparently, even looked up to see the sign.

Someone I knew online had a job doing commercial property work, and had a perfect solution to one of those evil doggie doo-ers. He happened to be using a weed wacker at the time, so what the culprit refused to bend over to pick up, had to be wiped off instead. The one who refused to carry doggie bags wasn’t very happy.

Children 5 and under here in China piss and crap on the street. The parents wipe there ass and go on their way. Some Chinese owners clean up after their dogs, but not many. I’ve even seen young children go to bathroom on the floor in Walmart.

Okay, I’ll go political: Everyone know that the repubs are turning a blind eye to the White House dog who is defecating all over the world.

The comments in this arc definitely lowered the tone of discourse today.

As this dog is paying attention to the path and not to the squirrels, it is obviously a seeing eye dog for the visually impaired. :D

Am confused – who is the dog?

I wish Bert the best of luck. Here in Central PA, such a grassroots movement wouldn’t work because the poo machines are horses pulling carriages and the Amish here don’t use cellphones.

Get off my lawn.

what’s the squirrels POV?

Night walks with our dog forced me to learn how to use my cell phone flash light so that I can see what I’m picking up, proof you CAN teach an old dog new tricks!

Because to you the phone is a tool, not a drug or pacifier.

China should be included in Trump’s shithole country list.

Bert got his start railing against fire and the wheel…

I’ve read that in ancient China, farmers would build outdoor toilets on the side of the road, so as to get free fertilizer. Something similar for dogs would probably be helpful for the garden.

There was an inconsiderate jerk who constantly allowed his dog to poop on an old lady’s lawn, even after she repeatedly asked him not to.

One morning he opened his front door to discover a large mound of dog-doo on his front steps … and a note … from his elderly neighbor politely saying, in effect, that since he couldn’t stop his dog from defecating on her lawn and hadn’t taken the time to pick it up, she did it for him and was returning a week’s worth of it to him and would continue to do so in the future.

Needless to say, the dog owner never let his dog poop on her lawn again – or anyone else’s in the neighborhood, once the story got out.

I hate to say it, but Bert needs a shotgun. It doesn’t really need to be loaded, he just needs to be able to make the chuk-chuk sound with it.

Leave us not forget France, where men routinely relieve themselves wherever and whenever they want. the country is financing the placing of “pisseries” at convenient spots around Paris and other cities to “allow” the men to relieve themselves in a more sanitary, less public manner. another place I don’t think I’ll visit any time soon. . .

Since we’re mentioning other cultures, you know the beautiful white togas the Romans always wear in the movies? They got them clean and white by washing them in urine so there was a business of collecting it.

Since you’re talking about “grass roots,” won’t they grow better with organic fertilizer?

Maybe a little grave site and a sign that reads “Here lie the bones of the last dog that crapped on my lawn”?

I’ve traveled all over the world, and have experienced all manner of public and private ( or lack thereof ) sanitation customs.

Before you loudly complain about some self-absorbed s.o.b. letting his dog poop anywhere it wants, you should visit or be forced to live in India, for any length of time.

We have a neighbor who while walking the dog will, once the beast had done its number two business, kindly bag the poop in a little bag designed for such matters, tie a neat knot to keep the contents from spilling out, and leave the bag of shit for the homeowner whose yard the dog just crapped in to throw away, rather than carrying it back home or finding a garbage can for proper disposal.

Another reason I have a goldfish.

Kind of like Congress, when you think about it . . .