Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 14, 2019

Cold nights are rough on reptiles.

Ooh, Larry — definitely the wrong answer!

Crocs are back, YEAH! Croc sleeping on the stoop, I think Stephan empathises.

Be thankful you’re alive, Larry.

Larry dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Just stop at panel 1.

Larry may even hibernate throughout the night.

Wrong answer. But is there a right one?

“Of all the animals, Man is the only one who lies.” —Mark Twain

What if you said, “Yes, it does make your sweet little butt look big, send it back.” Would a guy get away with that?

Life with a dose of reality. Open mouth, insert foot.

Larry gets it either way. If he tells the truth he gets to sleep in the dog house. If he lies and says the dress doesn’t make her butt look too big, she’ll accuse him of not being honest.;-D

Some men like women with big butts.

Is this a scene from “Life of Pastis”?

The truth certainly set him free.

Stupid idea

There’s only one way he could have made this worse:

“No, it’s the other way around”.

So Larry’s wife knows Opal Pickle …… Croc Power !

that beer is not making him any smarter!

Non-committal: “It makes you look SEXY”. Let her draw her own conclusions.

I’d say I’m sorry for you, Larry, but I’m not. You did it to yourself. Next time, just stop at the word “No”.

Maybe a careful “You look great in that skirt” might’ve worked?

Hey Pastis….more ZEBA and CROCS please!

If only he knew how to butter her up.

And there is underwear being sold with padded butts.

Honesty is seldom the best policy.

If you have to ask, I think you know the answer yourself….

I haven’t seen the crocs for a while, but doesn’t Mrs Croc (Patty?) usually go as unclothed as the rest of them? She must have put on the skirt for no other reason than to set this trap for poor Larry.

YEA! Croc’s! Just pretend you are camping, Larry. That is what I always tell myself.

Two steps up from the dumpster where he belongs…

PAGC

He should have said that she has a Kardashian butt.

There is NEVER a correct answer to that question. NE-VER!

Yea for the crocs!

The correct answer is in the first panel. It stops there.

I thought that “honesty is the best policy” in any relationship…

Subtlety is not Larry’s strong suit.

Deflect…always deflect…like: I smell gas,did you turn the stove off?!

Your butt is big….only is a sexy way…

Hey honey have you gained some weight in your rear-end?

That dress you wear reminds me of my old girlfriend

And where’d you get those shoes? I think they’re pretty lame

Would you stop talking ‘cause I’m trying to watch the game

If you’re a man who wants to live a long and happy life

These are the things you don’t say to your wife

Larry’s middle name is “Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest”.

This Public Service Announcement brought to you by Pearls Before Swine!

How about “You know what, it does. Do you want me to take it back for you and exchange it for the next size down?” (Do NOT pause between the two sentences!)

ALL RIGHT! LOVE LARRY AND HIS BEER! KEEP ’EM COMING! THANKS!

I think that you are supposed to reassure her that her ass looks just fine. If she wants an honest opinion, she can ask one of her friends.

Larry will NEVER learn! LMAO!

Tell her “I like big butts and I cannot lie.”

Is tough being not smart.

Once they start walking around in a new outfit, make yourself scarce. Just head out the door yelling " I’m going to put gas in the car." And don’t come back for a few hours. hopefully you’ll have a full tank and she’ll be off to where ever she was going, or laying another trap. The only winning move in the Kobayashi Maru is not to play. (See how I mixed up my scifi there?)

Junk in the trunk.

Look how generous she was! She gave him a sleeping bag!

“Not enough to make much difference…”

I’m surprised that he wasn’talso bloodied and bruised while sleeping on the porch…

CROCS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me never see lizard in cold, snow, or cold, but lots in Cancun and Jamaica.

More crocks, more zebus

OOPS. mis spelled zeeba

So crocs are stupid – even amongst their own kind/species.

Let’s show some appreciation for the crocs here. Larry has taken the fall and given the answer we’ve all wanted to respond with. You inspire us, Larry!

Larry’s sleeping bag looks like his wife’s wighat.

YAY! The crocs are finally back!

In my small insignificant opinion (and as a female) if someone asks this question the deserve a “yes” answer! Besides, clothes are almost never the reason ones backside looks big.

NOT a ‘thinking species’.

Now THAT is a perjury trap!

No further comment: https://youtu.be/YjC0vMIrOAk

Henny Youngman 1968

Is that a butt?…..with 2 T’s

Larry, you mouth look big because it is big!

Truly a situation of “Don’t ask. Don’t tell.”

Always be honest – what could possibly go wrong?

A response I saw in another ’toon was, “Do I look stupid?”

Never ask a question if you are not willing to hear the truth to it.

If you can’t recognize a loaded question maybe you shouldn’t get into conversations.

It’s practically an epidemic around here! —Staci and Cartoon-Boy, and now Patty and Larry. Pretty soon some clever-minded PBS entrepreneur will start offering porches specifically designed for sleeping (with all the amenities)!

Crocs is best…

Occam’s razor says you should have quit after “no”!

Right answer is…I love that sweet round booty baby

Strange question: Do crocodiles have butts?

If she didn’t want an answer, she shouldn’t have asked. This is one great example to just stay single.

Oof wrong answer

Oh no… He said is in crocese wrong! It is supposed to be ees!

Oh, larry

That’s what happens when you answer a loaded question. You get your @#$ shot off.