Mike Luckovich for February 08, 2019

Trump does not do well on scales (really? 239 pounds?)

But Mueller has a very special set of scales that will be especially unkind to The Donald.

Donald Trump has lived all his very privileged life believing he is above the law and will never get caught. The problem with wanting to run for president is, be careful what you wish for. Maybe he could skate around the edges as a bumbling, incompetent real estate player and brand name marketer and small-time money launderer for Russia.

But ego Don has a problem. He is an attention whore. He wants more and more attention and, the problem with skating around the edges of small-time money laundering is that it doesn’t go well with attention.

And when it comes to attention, when you’re president you get a lot of it. You are examined, in the disapproving words of Nancy, not a microscope but a “proctoscope.”

And no one wields the scales of justice — or its proctoscope — better than Robert Mueller.

Mobster Don Gotti thought he was above the law. Time and again he got off when prosecutors failed to convict, earning him the nickname, “the Teflon Don” — until Robert Mueller prosecuted a case against him, got the conviction and sent him to jail for the rest of his life, dying in prison.

It was also Mueller who got Panamanian strongman Manuel Noriega and the Pan Am flight 103 bombers.

Mueller has never lost a case, and that includes more than a hundred cases before the U.S. Supreme Court which is a very tough audience.

If Donald Trump thinks he is smarter than Robert Mueller…

Shouldn’t the scale be stepping on him?

Dog poo for balance?

I thought that dog poo was what we were weighing.

…just one side please.

I thought I heard the shuffle of the angel’s feet

He called my name and my heart stood still

When he said, “John, go do my will!”

Go tell that long tongue liar

Go and tell that midnight rider

Tell the rambler

The gambler

The back biter

Tell ‘em that God’s gonna cut ’em down

.

J Cash

He’s all dressed up for the Mueller Probe and the Congressional investigations. When they are done, he’ll be looking forward to his next colonoscopy as a respite. “Bite the pillow, tiny, we’re going in dry.”

Part of the problem is the Senate, but another part of the problem, of course, is Brett Kavanaugh (or, as I call him, The Perjuring Putz). It never was a matter of Roe v. Wade, but rather Mueller v. Traitor.

On a scale from One to Trump, where 1 is “honest, competent, and caring”…

At the SOTU, even his Tie was Crooked.

I wish.