The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for November 16, 2018

I’ve always come back from my vacations too. But at least I get there first.

That promise is going to, well, boomerang on…no. Sorry, my self-respect will not permit me to complete this joke. ;D

Right back at ya.

Let me plan your vacation, I will throw you and you won’t come back. I sent my Pet Rock on a vacation and it has never returned.

As Paul Harvey was fond of saying “it was the same person that invented the boomerang that invented the credit card”

This argument’s just going to go back and forth…

When do they reach the point of no return?

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?

Their next car will be a Tesla.

I wonder if their kids will ever leave home.

Sounds like another boom-harangue…

As a kid, I could never properly throw a boomerang. About age 12, I read in my father’s Popular Mechanics, How to Build a Boomerang. I found out that (at that time) all ‘rangs sold in stores were right-handed, and I’m left. I ended up making my own and it was great.

Chorus from a novelty song of yore:

My boomerang won’t come back

My boomerang won’t come back

I’ve waved the thing all over the place

Practiced till I was black in the face*

I’m a big disgrace t’ the Aborigine race

My boomerang won’t come back

I want a kangaroo (yeah yeah)

Make kangaroo stew (yeah yeah)

But I’m a big disgrace t’ the Aborigine race

My boomerang won’t come back

–––––––

*Yeah, I know; song was released in 1961, OK?

As if that isn’t enough, their dog is a Labrador Retriever.

My boomerang won’t come back, and there’s a song to prove it. On your next flight, consider a bunch of ancient aboriginals created a perfect wing.

They’re just going to wing it on this trip.

It all depends on whether you get the wind beneath your wings!