Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 12, 2018

Beer and pizza.

Investment pros often say “invest in things you know.” Unfortunately, Pig took the advice and lost it all in Pork Belly Futures.

No, smart people come up with a micro brew that everyone wants then spend their money to start the micro brew and allow it to make money for them.

And, it’s gone!

My grandmother gave me 50 dollars for my birthday every year when I was a kid. My dad talked me into investing most of it in the stock market on his broker’s advice. I turned 17 in 2009… yeah, never saw most of that money ever again. Broker’s doing pretty good, though.

Enjoy your money now! It’s Jeff Bezos who’s mining the gold!

You can’t buy beer, you can only rent it.

You win some, you lose some.

Is market correction the new code word for brokerage fee?

Stock market investments are never successful if made on whims and fancies. But then, even careful investors have seen lots of ups and downs.

I just spent it on a colonoscopy. I will see in a week whether I was smart to do so.

He went whole hog into the market and lost.

Twenty-four bottles in a case…twenty four hours in a day…How big of a clue do you need people?

The best time to invest in the market is when it’s down—-not when it’s soaring!

It’s called gambling by any other name.

Most if not all “financial advisors” are crooks who will always make sure they get paid whether or not you make anything off the investments they recommend.

My dad once told me that money was meant to be spent. I took his advice, and spent everything I made. I was in my 40s before I realized that my father’s advice may have applied with the 70% inflation rate we had when he gave it, but not any more.

Dollar cost average and go all in at the BOTTOM!

I bought some Canadian cannabis stocks.

My high school economics teacher gave us each $100 fake money to use in the stock market. We researched and then bought and sold stock all year. Definitely started me on the road to investing. I am retired now and would have him to thank for my portfolio.

You deal with one of those guys and you end up broker. Hence the name.

A financial advisor whos’s never heard “Buy low.”

When Pig saw the sign ‘Brooklyn Bridge Brokerage Co.’, he should have had second thoughts.

Should have talked to Rat first.

RAT! My GUY!

Never buy when the market is doing well. Wait until a recession when people are panicking and selling their stocks. It takes a bit of nerve to buy when prices are plummeting, but most of them will go up again.

And movies! According to that Senator Grassley…

Reminds me of the story of 2 guys with Nortel stock. One held on. One bought beer. At the end of a year, the one who bought beer took back his empties and was ahead of the guy that held on. The story may not be true but the math was correct. Sigh.

Reminds me of the story of 2 guys with Nortel stock. One held on. One bought beer. At the end of a year, the one who bought beer took back his empties and was ahead of the guy that held on. The story may not be true but the math was correct. Sigh.

To quote South Park…annnnnnnnndd it’s gone.

When investing you need a diversified portfolio. Stocks, bonds, and liquid assets. My most important liquid asset is my beer fridge. It helps when the stocks and bonds aren’t doing well. ;-)

This is why you should never put into the stock market money you might need within five years.

The stock market is one of the biggest cons in the world.

The stock market is for the wealthy to avoid taxes. A 5% per year windfall is considered decent, and that’s basically nothing.

“You lost everything.”*

*"But I made a killing because I shorted the stock."

But what about https://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine/2018/08/15 ?

Didn’t Rat stop drinking beer?

Malt does more than Merrill can/To justify Dow’s ways to man.

Nobody said you weren’t a fool if you do invest.

But true: then you’re a sucker.

Buy at the bottom pig, not at the top. And even with a market correction you should still own the stock which is generally worth something. Although not always.

Diversify, Pig! And get a new and better Financial Advisor, not just some schmuck with a fast tongue and a slow computer….

A “correction” happens when the market falls 10% from its 52 week high. So the line in Panel 3 should go, “Market correction. You lost about 10% of your investment.”

OP