Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 25, 2018

Try remembering only the people you’re angry at.

Somehow I just can’t see Steph as “more mature”

I think the forgetting actually just increases how upset I get at folks.

Steph having a senior moment?

I may grow old, but I’ll be damned if I’ll grow up.

I don’t remember what we are talking about.

Don’t you just hate it when you remember that you’re angry at somebody, but you can’t remember why?

I forgive, for I forget.

What’s on second.

“Backwards baseball cap” guy is NOT mature.

The moment passed.

He has “CRS”.

Just another brick in the wall, so to speak.

I only forget stuff on Wednesday. Or is it Tuesday?

It has been explained by experts, themselves probably in their dotage, that the stuff in aging brains is so immense that the file system has difficulty recalling it all. And as fount of all knowledge, son, observes “hey, you’re been through a lot of history.”

I don’t wanna grow up, I’m a PBS kid…

Forgive if you want to, or just let it go. But never forget, that’s the way I go.

By the time I got down here, I can’t remember what I was going to say.

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, “Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?” “Outstanding,” Fred replied. “They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great.” “That’s great! And what was the name of the clinic?” Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn’t remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, “What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?” “You mean a rose?” “Yes, that’s it!” He turned to his wife, "Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?

Stephan, you spelled $#T# wrong

Not about memory or like that but I’ll bet Steph knows all the words to Tom Waits’ “I Don’t Want To Grow Up.”

Yep, we have that in common, Steph. I keep forgetting that, occasionally, you can still be funny.

My senile grandfather wound up in the same assisted living facility with a guy he’d always hated. He didn’t like him any better in his old age.

I forget what I was suppose to remember…

True story.

After reading all these comments, I had to scroll all the way back to see what comic we were discussing. Damn!

I have a horrible memory, but things I should forgive and forget I remember forever.

Good grief, Cartoon-Boy! You’re only fifty, barely a babe out of knee-pants, compared to an Old Fart like me. Doesn’t matter whether or not I forgive and forget, ‘cause I pretty much couldn’t do anything drastic even if I wanted to….

You kids get off my lawn!

As I say to anyone who doesn’t silently slip away when I enter, I’m too young to be this old.