Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 30, 2018

Tomorrow, Pig will throw a jacket on it.

Quite right, Pig. Never rush into these things. If you feel the urge to exercise, lie down with a damp cloth over your eyes, and wait for the urge to go away.

Seems to be what most folks do with any exercise equipment when they first get it. Just stare at it.

Get nice and panicky first.

We bought a new treadmill and when we moved the pile of clothes in the corner of the basement to make room for it, we found a new treadmill.

C’mon, who ever heard of a skinny pig? Stay nice and plump! It’s all in good taste!

Treadmill perfect for Steph; sort of like his imagination Stream!

Hang one of those old “don’t tread on me” flags on it.

“Start Slow and Taper Off”. That’s my motto.

My husband’s doctor suggested a treadmill to help him recover from surgery. We live in a valley at the base of the High Sierra, with hundreds of miles of open space and hiking trails. Dumbest advice he received.

Tread softly pig.

Assembling the equipment can be quite a workout.

I think Stephan treaded on this milling topic a few weeks ago, did he? As for me, I would rather have a bench and bar and free weights.

Am I the only one that uses my treadmill?? I use it in the winter when it is too cold to get out and in the summer when it is too hot. I’m on my second treadmill – I wore out the first.

MORE CROCS!

Where have all the adverbs gone?

Maybe tomorrow he’ll switch it on!

Either start running on the treadmill, Pig, as what it’s intended to do, or make it into a clothes rack.

I can tell I am getting old as my wife and I go to the mall near our house to walk in the winter and summer. Right now walking outside is good.

I like the way Pig approaches this New Thing. You can’t be too cautious! Who knows what tricks it might play on you (like making you run fast or maybe even uphill)?

Yes Pig, it’s good to start slow, considering you bought that treadmill the week before and never use it.