Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 23, 2018

For the same reason no pages will be torn out of the vegetarian cookbook.

Why dust it if you don’t use it?

So he’s going to use it as a work of art then? Kinda like some artists who go to the hardware or plumbing store and buy a toilet then just set it out and claim it’s their latest work. Yet that toilet never gets used for it’s intended purpose.

Who likes skinny pork anyhow??

Oh, great… ANOTHER make-shift clothes rack!

Give Pig a break, maybe a ham bone or a couple of ribs, before saucing them down. Pig takes the “read” out of “treadmill”. Then he could probably use it for breakdancing. By the way, how much does Pig weigh?

Pig has the same idea I had.

Bought a treadmill many years ago. The biggest workout I ever got from it was wrestling it up the staircase by myself. It now resides under the kitchen table, safe from even the contemplation of use.

My brother has gone thru two of them and finally got a professional model. Mine was a clothes hanger till I got rid of it.

lets face it pig…if youre never gonna use that thing…odds are you’ll never dust it either.

Pig probably could break something dusting!

Sidewalks don’t move under our feet anyway.. terrible concept, treadmills. That’s my excuse anyway. ;O)

I haven’t seen a yard sale yet that didn’t include a treadmill!

Somebody put water in the Pringles holder!

We’ve had about three. My wife gets bored with them, and then we sell it and go to a gym, until she gets bored with that. This last time, she wanted an elliptical machine. Fine, I researched and bought a good one. She used it once, nah, don’t like it, I want a treadmill. Arrrrrgh!

So, Pig, you’re not going to use it? Easier to do it my way and not go to the gym.

I’m on my second treadmill. I use it all the time – especially in the winter. Gotta keep the body moving. I’ve even dusted it a time or two…….even though you use it, it still gets dusty.

You’d be amazed at how many books and magazines I was able to stack on my exercise bike!

Things break even when (and sometimes because) you don’t use them. The treadmill could harden and freeze in place, rubber and plastic deteriorate over time. Dust collects and makes things immovable …

Of course if you never turn it on you wan’t know.

My dear departed Mom was a fanatical house cleaner. And she would from time to time break things when dusting them. There was a high attrition of porcelain art….

The moral of the story is, avoid both exercise toys and too much house cleaning….

It’s been years since I last went to the gym. So if we have a treadmill at home, then I would pretty much use it as a clothes rack!