Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 19, 2017

Death and new phone models are the only thing certain in this life.

“I can make your phone live forever… but only if you sign my contract.”

(Cue eerie music)

how dreadful

Tomorrow, they’ll be at a séance trying to reach him in the afterlife. The dorky-looking guy will be saying …

One wrong number too many

What – no crying emojis?

I have a friend who took a large collection of obsolete and dead cell phones and made a garden sculpture of “Phonehenge”.

I love the reverend’s collar. Nice touch.

An old joke, since the days of rotary dial telephones…

Love his poor old mother with her gray curls!

That crying is phone-y.

Phone funerals? There’s an app for that!

Was the phone buried screen-side down?

That inside-coffin selfie is kind of dark…in all senses of the word.

My crappy 2 and a half year-old phone finally died on me last month

His Samsung relatives would like to have come but weren’t allowed on the plane.

0 Service Days Left.

Do iPhones get reincarnated as Androids and vice versa?

Do iPhones dream electric beeps?

I’ve heard of the Graveyard of the Elephants, but I never could figure out what to do with my dead electronic devices (like my old, 1995 laptop, for example. I still have it.)

Stephan, write a serial story like you did in 2008. You’re obviously short on ideas.

Cheer up phones, you can be recharged!

Should I laugh or cry?

Rip

Isn’t burying a cellphone considered littering? Although cremation is probably the worst option in this case.