Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for May 17, 2019

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Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson Recent Advances in valentine Delivery Systems An Ecuadorian flower grower has developed a six foot long stemmed rose, (Washington Post, February 5, A-1) Here ya go, baby! Ooh! Let me put them in some water. Russell Stover Candies will unveil an 8,000 cubic foot Whitman's sampler featuring treats previously unknown to science, including an unstable caramel isotope with a shelf life of 12 seconds. Designers at Hallmark are testing and Ultimate Valentine's Day card, a perfect synthesis of text & graphics that acts as a potent aphrodisiac. Sources report that it has a wistful puppy and a basket and the word wuv. Aww! Excellent! Necco candy engravers are trying micro-technology to inscribe the full texts of great romantic palms onto their Sweetheart Conversation Hearts. So far they've only succeeded with short racy works by Robert Herrick (1591-1674) Display thy breasts, my Julia; their let me behold that circummortal purity, between whose- Shoot, it broke again.