Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for February 20, 2018

Transcript:

richard's poor almanac by richard thompson corrections for 2006 several people in the news (k-fed, dick cheney & suri cruise) were fictitious, invent-ed to boost our circulation. dog: grrr because of a dropped com-ma, the may 12th "mutts" seemed to advocate a nu-clear strike on pyongyang. happy-land a world map in the june 3rd a section indicated that pangea has reformed as "happyland." this isn't true. man: yikes! several readers complained of finding a live squirrel in their sunday supplements bag. this was an act of god, honest. we've just learned that dick cheney (see above) is not fic-titious, but is instead a fleshy manifestation of the zeitgeist. the august 4th kids post story "let's eat dirt" was all a big misunderstanding. but still, sorry! bang! and we're sorry we ran that sudoku with all the trans-posed numerals. hope it didn't ruin your day. ha-ha! finally, some wise guy in the photo dept. keeps photshop-ping silly hats onto people's heads. he'd better cut it out!