Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 05, 2016

“…and why are stewardesses so pretty?”

“And how come there’s a piano bar upstairs?”:Seriously, watch Airport ’77; the plane had a bar with a piano upstairs, instead of just more rows of seats.

“And why are all these people at the gate? They can’t all be getting on this flight.”

Then again, if it’s a movie about airplanes in the 70s, chances are that it’s a disaster flick, so Pig may not really be wrong about this one!

Check out the guy holding the knife.

Planes aren’t like they used to be, when a beautiful lady would push up a cart and ask you “Coffee, Tea, or Me?”

I guess it’s a good thing I smoked through most of the ‘70s, because you couldn’t escape it. Not even in a doctor’s office. I now have zero tolerance for the cr@p. And I mean ZERO.

And how come they can just drive right up to the airport on a whim, slap some cash down on the counter and run onto the plane..And what’s the deal with those kids with the shaved heads and white robes handing out flowers?

And why is Kareem Abdul-Jabbar flying the plane?

If you remember the 70s, you weren’t there.

I guess pig picked a bad week to quit sniffing glue.

That’s one thing I don’t miss about the seventies.

I was a heavy smoker. I was stationed in Scotland and would come home once a year on a 7 hour flight. I booked NON Smoking section. I wasn’t going to sit in smoke for 7 HOURS!

while flying over Europe, the plumbing sprung a leak both inside and outside the plane. Yes, the rain over Spain fell mainly in the plane.

Robin Williams had the best quote ever. “This who took drugs and remember the 70’s are lying.”

…and why are they getting free meals, and why do they get free pieces of luggage and why…

Makes me grateful I was born in 1988

Because in the 70s, only people who could affordto pay for legroom travelled by plane, Pig.

“Okay. Give me Ham on five, hold the Mayo.”

And everyone is dressed so nice…

What’s your vector Victor?

I was there, did that thing. I was a non-smoker, but with a Smoking Section nearby, the atmosphere was just as polluted; it didn’t really make much difference, especially on long flights, when I’d end up with my clothes just as stinky from the smoke as if I’d been smoking myself.I’m not sure if Pig’s problem is that he’s (to use his own word) dumb—he seems to be so often—or that he’s just too young and uneducated to have a grasp of the history of commercial passenger flight….

Roger ,Roger & Over , Over

And why is it so much more expensive these days?

Real food, real cutlery, and really well dressed passengers. Flying was an adventure, an event, not the flying bus it is today. I know, I can’t change it, but I do miss some things about the 60s and 70s. Mostly I miss hippy chicks, but that’s a different story.

Born in the middle 30’s I remember flights my father took us on a 4 engine Constellation. A beautiful graceful plane which was an Air Force One back in the day. I thought it was hugeas a youngster. But latter went aboard the one restored in KC MO. Tiny & cramped. Loved twin engine DC 3 in short flights up & down East coast states. When jets became popular, I didn’t feel as safe in them, especially when passengers were packed in like cattle in the 80’s & 90’s.

More crocs please.

Pig: "And who is that white lady who just said, “I speak jive?”

That’s something I’ve learned.Ignore those people who say you can’t learn anything from comic strips.

xxx

I only flew once as a kid in the 60’s & fortunately by the 80’s airlines had gone smok free. It obviously helped reduce their cleaning costs once smoking was banned. Now you just need to be concerned if someone is trying to light a shoe bomb

Flying in the ’70s — one flight to Memphis, TN was overbooked so I just switched airlines at the counter. No additional fee, no fuss, just took the hard-copy ticket to the next agent. Another flight (coming back to L.A.) I had some carry-on items, including an entire brick of firecrackers. Just tossed them in the overhead bin without a thought.It was also common for those so inclined to just go to the airport and hang around the gates, people-watching. No ticket required, free to move to any gate and enjoy the passing parade.

The legroom comment really struck me. It used to be possible to leave the window seat and get into the aisle without the middle passenger or the aisle passenger getting up. This was in coach people, not first class. I like to travel, but flying has now become so unpleasant I wonder if there is some feasible alternative. You used to be able to enjoy your flight, now you just endure it.

Remember flying on a plane when I was 6. They served pancakes and sausage for breakfast.

yeah what about leg room? back in the 70’s i actually could stretch to the point my knees weren’t around my ears. really!

A benefit of flying in the smoking section (usually the rear of the plane) was first shot at the overheads, plus, people with screaming kids almost always avoided the smoking section.

I remember when you could Fly from SFO to NYC for $99, with Two Free Drinks, and Full Meal and a Movie. You could also Fly from Boston to NYC for $20, and still get a Free Beer and a Snack. Yeah, take me back to the 70’s (before disco).

And the 70’s hijackers used to actually land the plane somewhere and negotiate with a government to release the hostages unharmed!

Ruined by the word “never”

“Where are the seat recline thingys”