Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 25, 2015

I’m pretty sure Pig is only 6 degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon.

That’s cannibalism. Or porcineism. Or something.

I have a sudden urge for a BLT sandwich.

and at the end, Toody is the widow of Al :P

Toody’s cousin’s uncle was Al. Al could be Toody’s father. Which would make Al Pig’s Great-Uncle.

Could be worse, that bacon could have been over 150 years old and named Lt. Barzilia Inman (no, I did not make that name up, there actually was a Lt. Barzilia Inman who served in the 118th Pa. and nearly became dinner for some hogs after being wounded July 2, 1863 at Gettysburg)

Al will always be a part of Pig’s life. Unless Pig goes on a diet.

That’s it. Next time I buy bacon at the store, I’m checking the packaging for name tags!

Pastis’ pig parody is pretty poor.

I can call you Betty,And Betty when you call me ,You can call me Al.

Today’s travesty makes me glad I’m a vegetarian!

If Vicky and Katy are sisters, they would both be related to Uncle Paul. So we’re missing a degree here.

Pig’s rhythmic genealogical cannibalism might be disturbing to sensitive souls. But bacon makes it all right. Pork and/or Long Pork forever!

disgusting and makes me hungry for bacon, I hang my head

Koo koo kah joob….

Actually, if you do the math, Pig is within 3 degrees of uncle Al. Pig’s Aunt’s (for the sake of argument his mother’s sister) Cousin is also his mother’s cousin. Cousin Vicky’s sister is still just cousin Katy. Uncle Paul’s brother is still just Uncle AL. Pig-Mother-Cousin Katy-Uncle Al.

OR he could simply be eating his own father… do the math.

Familial cannibalism — that’s a fine topic for a nice Tuesday morning. Add Rat’s sausage double entendre and we’re all doomed to you-know-where.

“I tried to sit by Steve BuscemiBut he told me this seat’s takenI know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guyWho knows a guy who knows a guy who knows Kevin Bacon”

Lame Claim to Fame, Weird Al Yankovic

Well, of course I have to shove in one of my dear Mom’s favorite sayings, when she was having a not-so-great time:“I ain’t had so much fun since the hogs et my brother!”

Wasn’t Uncle Al (the kiddie’s pal) on Laugh-In?

This is soooo wrong.

I’d rather read about this than about the six degrees of suppuration.

kevin, you’ve been replaced

Pig needs to go over to BC today and eat at Terminus Diner

quite a stretch for Stephen Patsis to associate it all with Kevin Bacon …

Okay… you can have an uncle whose brother is not your uncle too, if it’s your uncle by marriage (ie married to your aunt, your parent’s sister). But your cousin’s sister will also be your cousin.

Only exception is if it’s her half-sister, through her parent which is not your relative by blood. I have a cousin, my father’s sister’s daughter. Her father, my uncle, had a daughter before he married my aunt. So his daughter has no relationship with me at all, but she’s my cousin’s sister. But half-sister. And this isn’t common enough to be obvious, I’d suspect. If Pig just said “half-sister” there, all would be well…

pigs will eat just about anything that you feed them. as long as it’s food. they are omnivores, after all. I’ve had one of ours hunt down & kill a chicken that got into their pen once….fresh live meat is always more exciting than veggies or grain…

Disturbing yet locally sourced.

Today’s background music: “I’m My Own Grandpa” by Homer and Jethro.

Oh please, I have enough trouble figuring how who is related to who(m) in my own family tree

Bacon. Yuck! I used to like it but then it started making me feel sick so I went right off it.

xxx

That could be sky in the background. Pig is eating Al Fresco.

He should try a bit of Long Pig. Hard to find but apparently quite tasty when properly cured.

If the last character in his story was named Franci, he would had vintage Franci’s bacon

I’m not sure. I just know I’ve been separated too far from Bacon for too long.

Cannipigism?

Pig, how could you eat Al? If you’re going to eat relatives, you should eat Jerry

That is soooooo wrong…..

cannibalism? kinda sus bro

That’s disturbing. But pigs are truly omnivores.

His great uncle?

So it’s his great uncle Al? Great great uncle maybe?