Birdbrains by Thom Bluemel for June 11, 2015

My kind of answer.

NOT A GOOD THING TO SAY TO AN OFFICER

Don’t know, don’t care…….

“Well, if YOU don’t know, officer, then I couldn’t have been speeding, could I?”

" Wait a minute I can google it for you just let me finish this text I was sending."

Can you drive 55?

Wow! A whole lot of good things not to say to an officer!

Aren’t officers trained to say the POSTED speed limit, to keep from stepping into that very trap?

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car…

Do the police there get their uniforms from the North Koreans?

For the geeks out there:Heisenberg (the physicist, not the TV guy) and Schrodinger are driving down the highway when Heisenberg gets pulled over by the police. The cop asks Heisenberg “Do you know how fast you were going?” to which he replies “No, but I can tell you exactly where we are”. The cop says “You were clocked at 94.5 mph”. Heisenberg throws up his hands in exasperation and exclaims “Oh great!, Now we’re lost!”. The cop gives him a strange look and says, “Are you boys on something? Maybe I ’d better take a look around. Pop open your trunk.” The cop goes around back to the trunk and shouts back “You boys know you got a dead cat in your trunk?” Schrodinger gets a disgusted look and replies “Well, it is, NOW!”

…and that’s when the arrest began.