Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 02, 2015

Congratulations, Pig — you are now smarter than everyone who goes to Starbucks.

I sometimes go to Starbucks…

…pick up a bag of whole bean coffee, take it home, grind it, and brew my own coffee, thank you.

But I usually get it from the grocery store. It’s a bit cheaper.

I have managed to tame my latte habit down to about 3 times a week. However, there IS a difference between coffee and GOOD coffee! my stomach can tell.

I can’t stomach coffee. That’s saved me a fortune in my 68 years.

Just look at how money is spent in general……..what does a cell phone cost per year?……..how many phones in in use?………grind those numbers :-O

Yeah, I could never attach myself to $4.00/cup coffees on a regular basis (I may succumb occasionally when traveling and staying somewhere that has nothing less expensive readily available). Heck, I remember coffee at a nickel a cup (of course, I was too young to drink it then; but even when I finally could, it was still only ten or fifteen cents, then a quarter, a cup for a long time)!

“What do you mean with ONLY four bucks?”

“What do you mean with ONLY a cup of coffee?”

Starbucks’ coffee always tastes burnt to me.

Starbucks is WAY over-rated. And over-priced.

I live in it’s home town, and have had one cup from Starbucks and that was bought for me. still make my own.

It was only after I retired that I discovered how expensive going to work is.

Holy crap! He’s right! No more freaking Starbucks for me

If Starbucks has such good coffee, why does everyone order it with about 5 or more modifications? I think it tastes like crap.

now figure out what your cellphone’s “data plan” is costing you a month.

Actually, it’s a cup of milk with some coffee added.Was it here someone said, “It’s NOT starbucks – it’s five bucks!”

What kills me is that people plunk down $4 for a cup of coffee that costs what, $.06 to make? Then they complain when they come to some service business that charges $4 for something that costs them $2-3 to do. IDC if they want to pay $4 for coffee, but as least the respect the people at other businesses, too.

Actually… most beans are burnt—the darker the roast, the heavier the processing, and if you get flavored beans- they’re literally sprayed with a chemical flavor. Usually after they’ve had the original flavor burnt out of them. Light roast is a little safer…for now…

My cellphone plan costs about 8 bucks a month, and I don’t need a landline. And I still think Americans have horrible taste in coffee and Starbucks proves it. Horrible, horrible stuff.

The few times a year that I travel I enjoy a a cappuccino from Starbucks early in the morning. Motel coffee is horrid.

before you people compare price per gallon, consider that some of that stuff, no normal person would use a gallon of it in their entire lifetime!(By the way, the only coffee I can stomach is a single mug of Taster’s Choice in the A.M. , unless I have breakfast at a restaurant where refills are free, I sometimes drink 2.)

Grind my own coffee and use a Brita filter. The most expensive ingredient in Starbucks coffee is the cup and the lid.

Pastis is mentioned in “Frog Applause” today. He;s becoming a popular guy!

My wife and I buy two-pound bags of coffee beans for about $10 each and grind them at home. Each bag typically lasts 6-7 weeks. I’ve figured out on a calculator that one pot a day at 6 cups per pot over 45 days, we’re paying a base price of 3.7 cents per cup. When you add in a little sweetener, powdered French vanilla or hazelnut flavoring and a dab of milk with each cup. that brings it up to about a dime apiece. So for the same amount someone spends at Starbucks to get six or seven cups, we’re getting 270 cups by performing a little DIY at home…and we don’t have a barista to tip.There are fewer more needless wastes of money out there than coffee shops or stands, but people are either too lazy to do it themselves or they’re coffee snobs, which is an oxymoron.

My wife and I drink plenty of coffee at home. We even have a budget espresso maker. But we also like to go to coffee shops for the pleasure of it. I usually buy a doppio espresso on ice ($2.47 with own cup). A cup of coffee does not cost $4; a latte does.

My chief complaint with Starbucks brewed in-store is that it’s too strong. I just realized, that’s so people can drown it with cream or other additives. I put nothing in mine.

I drink mine black and the few times I was forced to go there with friends it WAS burnt. Burnt is a distinct flavor. That’s probably why they add everything sweet as a cover. Even black it was still too expensive for a few beans and a cup and a half of water.

Starbucks does have light roasts, you just have to ask for one. They have three categories of roast; blonde, medium, and dark. If you look on the side of the bag, there is a line graph that shows more exactly where that particular roast falls. The one I like is just inside the dark category.

I did the math. Make black coffee (good coffee) at home? 7 cents. Half and half and sugar? 27 cents. Starbucks… sheesh.

I remember Joe’s Roastery!Wait, “roastery” isn’t considered a word here…

Pro-Starbucks! Pro-Joe’s!

Why should those of us who like our Calcium and Vitamin D warm and tasty with a nice boost of caffeine have to feel guilty about avoiding the osteoperosis and rickets just because somebody doesn’t approve of the rather successful business plan of a multinational corporation?

Plus they seem to pay the staff enough that they are pleasant, a way better psychological start to the day than being snarled at or worse the weird vacant stare from the cashier after standing in the 10 minute line at the cheaper place.

Factor in the lowered health care costs from the nutrients in the milk in the lattes and they are practically free ;-)(Plus too expensive to drink too many to overdo the calories!)

I volunteer every year for judging a school kids extra-curriculum program. A few year a couple of my fellow judges were talking about Starbucks, one of them having worked there. He revealed that Starbucks itself actually tells all it’s franchisees to over charge for the coffee which actually costs about an eighth what you pay for it at the counter. And that the quality they serve is pretty much the same as low end store brand coffees even though Starbucks claims it’s even higher than the high end store brand stuff.

How did goat calculate that in, like, 4 seconds?