Agnes by Tony Cochran for August 29, 2014

Um… Agnes… look out.

They might just be thinking those skinny… er..,, sorry…. long, slender legs are worms.

Birds dream of other birdsAnd food And predatorsOr not

Birds dream of fowl things.

Birds dream of clean cars they can poop on. Except for pigeons and seagulls, they dream of picnickers at the beach leaving their meals out of the cooler and unattended.

Birds see humans and think “I wish I hadn’t just decorated that car.”

It’s the herons admiring you slender pins.

A mad scientist invented a serum to animate objects.He injected it into an old Confederate general’s statue.It began to move.“I’ve done it, I’ve created life! What are you going to do now that you’re alive?”Drawing his revolvers, the animated statue looked up and around.“Fust, I’m a gonna kill me ’bout a million pigeons.”

The birds are up to no good. A few years back, we had birds in a local Home Depot garden section that were buzzing customers. One guy actually filed suit against the store. ‘That was no ordinary sparrow’ commented his lawyer.

I remember a Far Side…“Birds Eye View”. Each person had a target on the top of their head.

I always thought it was calves, not “calfs.”

M,It is calves normally .NormallyAgnesNormally and Agnes don’t usually exist in the same sentence.(See? Didn’t even fit there↑)