Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for February 14, 2010

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Hollingsworth Hound in "Squeeze Plays" Hound: Don't begrudge the huge bonuses C.E.O.s got for running their banks into the ground! President Obama doesn't! Barack Obama: "There are some baseball players who get more than that who don't get to the World Series." "That's part of the free market system." Hound: He's totally RIGHT! And here's how free market capitalism works in banking AND in baseball! 1. Threaten the government Hound: Secretary, give us more money or we'll take down the economy! Hound: Mayor, build me a new stadium or I'll move my team to another city! 2. Use government support to profit STEAK Hound: Lend to me at a low rate! I CAN'T DEFAULT...the government will bail me out! GATE H GAME TODAY! Hound: Hoo! Profits are easy when the government pays for your facility! 3. Throw government-subsidized money at top players Hound: Here's your bonus, pal! See you on the links... $$$$$ Hound: Come to my team! It's fun to win! Whee! $$$$$ Hound: So keep out of our business, government! Meddling in bankers' bonuses will only mess up the pristine equilibrium of our free market system! Baseball Player: We're both too BIG to fail! Paid for by the C.F.T.G.F.I.H.F.M.C.-E.F.G.H.T.T.R.A.P. (Committee For Totally Government-Free, Invisible Hand, Free Market Capitalism, Except For Government Handouts To The Rich And Powerful)