Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for February 15, 2010

There needs to be more signs like this posted.

Amen!

Saw one just like that at the Christian Science Reading Room.

Nothing in the world like a good cup of coffee..

I liked the Frank & Ernest strip where one of them got so confused about the variety of choices at a coffee shop that he ordered an Al Pacino.

Just tell the coffee to come over here and pour itself…

Cup of Joe please…

Not serving ‘frappastupid’ coffee is a step forward!

Adding milk to coffee (whether it’s “textured” or not) simple neutralizes the tannins and destroys the flavour. Why would anyone want to do that? It’s like adding milk to red wine.

Yeah, right, Mainers cater right to the tourists every year…ain’t no money in locals, fo sho.

I want one for my job… :) I work in Human Resources…

I am the only one who does not like that starbucks crud, not as long as I get my “Wiley fix” each AM.

Hey, it’s Tasters Choice with cream and sugar for me. If that makes me a heathen, so be it!

i work for starbucks AND I can’t stand the stuff; but i do want that sign.

but will they know why they are being slapped?

that sign could cover a multitude of actions/requests.

I like Starbucks varieties.

I’m a tea drinker but what people do to that beverage is about as frappastupid. Hmm. I like that word! Thanks Wiley.

Possible definition: frappastupid: (adj.) convoluted beyond recognition, can no longer be identified as the original substance.

Double roasted Spanish coffee is for me.

Bleep right! Uh, could I have that with hazelnut-flavored creamer and some shaved chocoloate on top?

If you’re chocolate needs a shave its been in the cupboard too long!

hmmmm, coffee and chocolate….. and todays my B’day. I deserve both today…. gonna go out and get me some!

I got a brother-in -law in the cupboard who always needs a shave, wait, no, he’s in the closet. sorry, we were talking about coffee?

Old sign at the auto place: “$20.00 per hour to fix your car. $40.00 if you help.” I think they’re assuming the whole family is helping these days, but still a hoot.

I’m a tea drinker too, but I always have that straight up!

I think it’s a pretty safe bet that you won’t be getting a visit from Adam Newman.

$2 fine for saying “expresso” instead of “espresso”. Pay at the door.

No Richard you’re not alone. Vexatron1984 - I’m with you. Tea - hold the foo foo.

I already drank my coffee!

Coffee I drank on board ship wasn’t bad but our Army coffee was the only coffee I ever had to chew.

Turkish coffee, it’s what espresso aspires to be.

I will patronize Starbucks the day they add a shot of bourbon to the options.

I happen to drink chai lattes. Then again, chai is tea…so yeah, there ya go.

I had coffee and toast today and yesterday, but only because I’m out of eggs. I’ll be going to the store today. I love Taster’s Choice Hazelnut crystals (with about 1/2 heavy cream) but I like it better -just crunchy crystals on double vanilla ice cream ;-) yum!

grazer, i just bring the singles with me, but i love your option. the slower my coffee pours, the better i like it. yeah, gimme the one off the back burner you made at 3am. bourbon also goes well with chocalates.

mightaswellbe,

Ditto for the Army.

Bivouacking in the snow is an effective learning experience.

I want a medium roast coffee, strong and without adornment.

I learned to drink coffee in the army. Now that’s coffee. Could also be jet fuel.

I want that sign on the sies and back of my truck. Little cars have no respect for big trucks or the damage they can do. As for coffee, just keep my cup full and a little creamer around, I’ll be good.

Filtered water, clean coffee maker (no soap residue), and beans I just got through grinding (in a clean grinder). It’s all in the details. Paint it black. If you have to add something then you’re not doing it right. Think I’ll go get another cup.

What’s the recipe for Nuclear Coffee? I think I may already be making it.

Forget the coffee -

Everyone who’s ever worked a cash register would like to have one of those signs (and a concealed baseball bat).

If your only exposure to cashiers is as a customer, you really should try it from our side of the counter. You wouldn’t believe the people we have to put up with - and smile (through gritted teeth).

Thanks, Wiley

The reverse is also true: try to get a plain, ordinary cup of coffee at Starbucks. If you really want to spend that much for ordinary coffee.

the coffee that they serve here they say is mighty fine, its good for cuts and bruises and tastes like iodine.

NightShade09;

I’ve worked as a cashier in convenience stores so I know what you mean.

No register in a taxi, but much the same thing. Very interesting job, though. With interesting not always being a good thing.

Seeing as I don’t drink coffee I could care less.

But can I borrow that sign? I know a few places that could use it more than Flo.

Sign in a cafe:

“Don’t gripe about the coffee. Remember that you too may be old and weak someday.”

At the Starbucks I used to go to I always asked (and got) a cup of plain coffee. Once I said to the barrista that I felt stupid ordering plain coffee and she said, at least we know what you’re ordering.

I used to work w/ 2 manager who would use 2 scoops for a 12 cup pot… eww. I asked why they didn’t just let us make it regular strength and add water. They said the flavor was still too strong. I say don’t drink coffee if you hate it that much, theres plenty of caffinated beverages.

Then there’s the Edgar Allan Poe Special: A cask of a Macchiato…

“Hey, waiter, this coffee tastes like mud!”

“Well, sir, it should; it was ground this morning.”

puddleglum1066 That reminds me of an old memory: Years ago in Montreal the office that I worked employed a coffee lady. We used to call the coffee in the morning mud and sludge in the afternoon - but we never told her that - but it was that bad.

Forget being a cashier (although that is also trying to ones nerves) try working behind the counter of a college library.

“I need that big blue book, you know the one?”

“I need this book, I don’t know the name of it, or the author, and I cant’ remember the name of the class it is for or even what the teachers name is or the subject. Can you help me find it?”

“I don’t get what the big deal is, Louisiana isn’t even a big state.” said by someone right after the Louisiana Purchase nickels came out.

I kid you not, I heard these kind of things all of the time, and from people getting their Bachelor’s and Master’s.

Instead of hazelnut, call it filbert-flavored. Takes a lot of the romance out of it. Emphasizes the stupidity.

Real coffee, my favorite kind. Make it strong and keep it coming.

Doc T -

I have recently began throwing equal parts coffee grounds and water in the food processor and mixing to a smooth paste. Heat and eat with a spoon.

And for a nice dessert mix with equal parts chocolate pudding & top with dab of whip cream.

Thanks for the inspiration!