Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for December 13, 2013
December 12, 2013
December 19, 2013
Transcript:
Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Chagrin Falls "In The Trenches" Woman: So, I'm visiting my sister for Christmas, and then I'm going to have a New Year's party. Mother: Sounds like you'll be having two happy holidays! Daughter: Mom! Mother: Oh, no! I said the phrase. OPEN THE DOORS, OR THEY'LL BREAK THEM DOWN! Cliff: Set up at the far wall! Keep the tree out of the shot! And get some of the less fat kids behind me. BAM Cliff: Cliff Bottoms, reporting for FOX News from the sleepy hamlet of Chagrin Falls, where the townsfolk are forbidden to say, "Merry Christmas!" Mother: Actually, we a... FOX NEWS WAR ON CHRISTMAS Cliff: This middle school "Holiday" party is an orgy of atheistic rules. The Christmas tree is called a "Godless Greenery," and children are forced to wear "Solstice Sarongs!" FOX NEWS CHRISTIANS FED TO Cliff: Never has it been more important to buy my book, just $29.99 at fine bookstores near you. Back to you, Evan. And...Merry Christmas! FOX NEWS CLIFF BOTTOMS My Fight to Save Christ and All That You Hold Dear Cliff: Come on, if we hurry, we can catch the 4:17. Mother: Should we contact them and let them know that we're not required to say "Happy Ho..." Woman: DON'T SAY IT! THEY'LL COME BACK!
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Subversive over 10 years ago
As a god fearing nation we need to come up with some new christmas character. Maybe we could steal some old Dutch folklore character to bring the “true meaning of christmas” to all of the ignorant pagans out there.
riley05 over 10 years ago
The most important thing is that Fox News and their political party use the holiday season as yet another reason to further divide the country.
Lying to achieve that goal is perfectly fine, because Revelations 21:8 doesn’t apply to real christians.
Nebulous Premium Member over 10 years ago
Is it possible to drive the “Conservative” Media idiots away by using the phrase “Fact Checking”?
Linguist over 10 years ago
Faux News doesn’t report real news. It manufactures stories aimed at appealing to it’s base viewer… er… viewer base. The Murdoch Empire has always gone by the maxim " Never Let the Truth Get In the Way of a Good Story ! ". Unfortunately, most of News Corp. stories are pretty lame.
Malcolm Hall over 10 years ago
The recent whining about Festivus was especially laughable.
steverinoCT over 10 years ago
I’m about to write and send out my cards: they are generic “Happy Holidays” cards and I write in “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year” to my Christian friends and relatives, and “Happy Hanukkah and Happy New Year” to my Jewish friends and relatives. Though the early Hanukkah has screwed that up..Myself I send a “Bah! Humbug!” card.
rvdroz over 10 years ago
The Jewish New Yeah, Rosh Hashanah, was September 5th. Happy 5774! It’s okay, there are plenty of other holidays.
riley05 over 10 years ago
“Do you realize that the word faux is pronounced “foe”?”Not here! Here, they’re interchangeable.
riley05 over 10 years ago
Hmm, yeah, you’re right.
ChrisV over 10 years ago
The best Christmas card I’ve seen this year says “Happy Holidays to someone who probably thinks this card should say Merry Christmas.”
Subversive over 10 years ago
Apparently this “pagan” knows a little bit more about sarcasm than the average demon. I will bring your goat back when he gets tired.
dadoctah over 10 years ago
And “American Dad” two nights later. No, I’m not a writer for TV, but I do seem to be plugged into whatever Zeitgeist they’re all mining this year.
Dr. Quatermass over 10 years ago
Cliff Bottoms simply refuses to put the Mithra back in Christmas!