Frazz by Jef Mallett for October 08, 2013

His favorite poem… ?

Though it’s short enough, I’m guessing it’s not something off a bathroom stall.

Caufield will probably turn in a hundred word poem about the poem…..“There once was a man from Nantucket….”

So, I googled “16 word poem” and found this. I don’t know if it is Caulfield’s poem, but here it is… The Red Wheelbarrow so much dependsupon a red wheel barrow glazed with rainwater beside the whitechickens. William Carlos Williams

There’s even aYouTube about the shortest poem(s) on the VSauce channel.

It amuses me when I hear a kid complaining about homework at grade school level. Wait till college where 5000+ words on a given topic is the assignment on the first day of most English courses.

Mine is only 11 words long!

The cow is of the bovine ilk;one end is moo, the other, milk.

Rats… 14.

This one won a National Limerick contest a few decades back. I don’t remember who wrote it but Isaac Asimov was the judge.

The Bustard’s an extrodin’ry fowlwith minimal reason to growlHe escapes what would beIllegitimacyby the grace of a fortunate vowel.

Granted it’s 23 words long but I could do a 100-word essay on it, easily!

Here’s one of my favorite poems, by George Herbert:

Redemption

Having been tenant long to a rich lord,Not thriving, I resolved to be bold,And make a suit unto him, to affordA new small-rented lease, and cancel the old.In heaven at his manor I him sought;They told me there that he was lately goneAbout some land, which he had dearly boughtLong since on earth, to take possession.I straight returned, and knowing his great birth,Sought him accordingly in great resorts;In cities, theaters, gardens, parks, and courts;At length I heard a ragged noise and mirthOf thieves and murderers; there I him espied,Who straight, Your suit is granted, said, and died.

And here’s another, this one by Henry Reed:

I. NAMING OF PARTS

To-day we have naming of parts. Yesterday,We had daily cleaning. And to-morrow morning,We shall have what to do after firing. But to-day,To-day we have naming of parts. JaponicaGlistens like coral in all of the neighboring gardens, And to-day we have naming of parts.

This is the lower sling swivel. And thisIs the upper sling swivel, whose use you will see,When you are given your slings. And this is the piling swivel,Which in your case you have not got. The branchesHold in the gardens their silent, eloquent gestures, Which in our case we have not got.

This is the safety-catch, which is always releasedWith an easy flick of the thumb. And please do not let meSee anyone using his finger. You can do it quite easyIf you have any strength in your thumb. The blossomsAre fragile and motionless, never letting anyone see Any of them using their finger.

And this you can see is the bolt. The purpose of thisIs to open the breech, as you see. We can slide itRapidly backwards and forwards: we call thisEasing the spring. And rapidly backwards and forwardsThe early bees are assaulting and fumbling the flowers: They call it easing the Spring.

They call it easing the Spring: it is perfectly easyIf you have any strength in your thumb: like the bolt,And the breech, and the cocking-piece, and the point of balance,Which in our case we have not got; and the almond-blossomSilent in all of the gardens and the bees going backwards and forwards, For to-day we have naming of parts.

One of my favorites is a commentary on its own length:.There once was a man from JapanWhose limericks would never scanWhen asked why this wasHe answered, "Because,“I always try to fit as much into the last line as I possibly can.”

More than 16 words, but worthy of Caufield’s attention:

“A planet doesn’t explode of itself,” said drilythe Martian astronomer, gazing off into the air.“That they were able to do it is proof that highlyintelligent beings must have been living there.”

On the length of discussion vs. length of material, we look to Mark Twain:“If you want me to give you a two-hour presentation, I am ready today. If you want only a five-minute speech, it will take me two weeks to prepare.”

Years ago I read an extremely short poem about an old oak branch lying beneath the tree and dreaming about the days when….wish I could find it again!

Well, he should switch to Charge of the Light Brigade. There’s plenty of history there to fill volumes. That’s one of my favorites. There is also a poem I can’t recall the title of a soldier in the Trenches during WW I and ends with a line similar to : “and you claim this is victory?” (can anyone tell me if they can find this poem?)

Speaking of equations, I recently heard an astrophysicist say that, to him, looking at a complicated equation was like seeing/hearing a melody!

Go to the website poets.org and read and/or listen to Gwendolyn Brooks’ 24 word poem We Real Cool.

You want short? This is my husband’s favorite:

“Once upon a midnight dreary…”

No, wait!

“In Xanadu did Kubla Khan…”

No, wait!

“There once was a girl named Regina…”

Aha, that’s it!

My favorite all time

Candy’s Dandy But Liquor’s Quicker

O Nash

Thought Caulfield might like Ogden Nash; just went through 114 O.G. poems. MANY at 12,14, 15, 17, and 18 words. Couldn’t find a single one at exactly 16. Another Caulfield mystery — with his annual Halloween tribute costume coming up soon.

The tune don’t have to be clever,And it don’t matter if you put a coupla extra syllables into a line.It sounds more ethnic if it ain’t good English,And it don’t even gotta rhyme—excuse me—rhyne.

—part of The Folksong Army, Tom Lehrer

http://www.gocomics.com/frazz/2013/04/01

Caulfield’s favorite poem.

“This song is just six words long.” —Albert Yankovic