Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 09, 2013

Next he’ll buy her a fuel can and say “Hope you enjoy the gas chamber…”

Ha!! Shockingly Funny. Should get one for my mom for her B-Day.

Maybe it will straighten out her hair.

That’s the chair Pig will occupy when they do his Celebrity Roast. I think Kevin Bacon will be the MC.

either way you get a pork tenderloin…

What an ungrateful son! (Or, what a dumb son!)

pig’s mom is cute, made me giggle

Very nice gift wrapping by that dumb Pig.

I call being executioner!

I threw my back out trying to get other parts massaged!

Early in the 20th Century the electric chair replaced the gallows…thus creating the expression, “No noose is good noose”!

@punmeister—of course Mr. Bacon will be assisted by Mia Hamm!

Maybe she thinks it takes too much power to run… A kill-o-watt…

o_O pig pig pig,

The chair was preassembled… Otherwise the assembly instructions, no doubt in Chinese or Japanese, would have killed her and the joke…

I SMELL BACON !!!!!!!!

I SMELL BACON !!!!!!!!

lol…very funny

Made me laugh!

Henny Youngman’s wife joke….from almost before electricity!

She has an electric blender, electric toaster, electric bread maker. Then she said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down! So what did I do? Bought her an electric chair.

Don’t think I’d want to visit her place

Sounds like a gift I should send to Aaron Neathery.

At least he didn’t write, “Hope you enjoy this nice, big vibrator!”

She sends him a cute….Texas Necktie.Simple instructions.Insert head in Loop.Throw loose end over tree.Pull loose end to secure fit.Choking feeling is natural it will soon go away.Now you look FABULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Better than saying, “Hope you enjoy the vibrator!”

Yes, that probably could have been phrased a trifle more felicitiously…