Wide Open by Rich Powell for July 26, 2013

We like them both, depends on what we’re making.

There’s smoke even coming out of his eye sockets. That must have been quite a fire.

There used to be a group that had a contest to see who could get a fire to cooking temperature the fastest (as reported by Dave Barry in his old column). The current but disputed champion poured liquid oxygen on the charcoal and then fired it up. The dispute is that while he did create a cooking fire in only seconds, the grill was totally incinerated and the coals were now just sitting on the ground.

My husband has a Big Green Egg – only uses charcoal. Just last weekend he opened the lid after using a hair dryer on the bottom coals to get them up to temperature faster. He now no longer has any hair on his right arm. Could have been a lot worse…

Next time, use a quart less lighter fluid.

Singed my eyebrows the other day doing exactly that. Ah, nothing smells like burnt hair in the morning. (Variation of Robert Duvall’s line.)

Ha, Crankshaft laughs at your puny mushroom cloud!

We recently got a grill that does both. Charcoal for the hubby and quick easy ignition for me. The best of both worlds.BTW our last grill had to be lit with a match……throw and run was my mantra. Never did lose any hair.

Great art work.

I’ll never forget my Dad trying to get the fire going when charcoal briquettes first came out. Thought he was going to drop dead of a heart attack fanning them with a pie plate.

Lighting a natural gas fireplace or a propane grille, it is quite possible to flash-dry your eyeballs, an uncomfortable but temporary condition. I do hate seared eyeballs and the smell of burnt hair.

It’s what we do. You know, a manly kind of thing.

Ziggy zoggy ziggy zoggy oye oye oye.