Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 20, 2013
March 19, 2013
March 21, 2013
Transcript:
Pig: Look, Rat, I made a victory garland from plants I found in our backyard. It means I'm a winner! Rat: That's poison oak. Pig: I'm feeling less winnery.
The garland does not make the winner, Pig. It is nothing but a symbol. I’m not sure which of the ancient games used poison oak as its symbolic reward…. (Scratches head.)
Cue the Righteous Brothers! ♫♪♫♪♫ Pig’s lost that winnery feeling, oh that winnery feeling Bring back that winnery feeling, now it’s gone, gone, gone And he’ll just scratch on, whoh ohoh oh… (I never knew it was possible to be not allergic to it. What luck!)
Friend on riding mower with shorts, sandals and sunglasses goes off property by 5 feet and hits patch of poison ivy. 3 days in hospital due to inhalation/ingestion and skin exposure..“Funny” now (oh, OK; even back then it was somewhat humourous after we found out it he wasn’t going to die).
When I was in Basic Training the drill sergeant looked at one of the troops when we were in the field, asked him if he knew he’d camoflaged his helmet with poison oak.
I had a cousin who was immune to poison ivy. He used to lord it over all of his friends and make fun of them because they could get the rash, and he couldn’t. One day he picked a bunch of poison ivy leaves and rubbed them all over his face. A few days later, he found out that IMMUNE is not necessarily forever.
His face blew up like a basketball. Everyone had a grand time with that.
legaleagle48 about 11 years ago
Soon he’ll be itching for some relief!
Templo S.U.D. about 11 years ago
time to bring out the calamine lotion
margueritem about 11 years ago
He’ll need an ocean of calamine lotion…
Sherlock Watson about 11 years ago
It takes a hardy fellow to wear a laurel like that.
Phatts about 11 years ago
I hardly ever feel winnery.whinery, sometimes.OK, I admit it, whinery a lot of times.
Buckly34 about 11 years ago
“Winning” Wasn’t that trademarked by Charlie Sheen last year?
SusanSunshine Premium Member about 11 years ago
Hope Pig isn’t going to rest on his laurels.
That would really be a rash move.Bilan about 11 years ago
Itchy lies the head that wears a crown.
amyhre2001 about 11 years ago
At least he didn’t wipe his butt with it.
pc368dude about 11 years ago
Some Selsun Blue will fix the whole thing.
JGordonFan24 about 11 years ago
If Pig is the winner, I would hate to see who the ones he beat.
Sisyphos about 11 years ago
The garland does not make the winner, Pig. It is nothing but a symbol. I’m not sure which of the ancient games used poison oak as its symbolic reward…. (Scratches head.)
lisapaloma13 about 11 years ago
Of course you’re feeling less winnery… it’s spring!
Carl Rennhack Premium Member about 11 years ago
The poison oak remark came from a POISONED OAF!!
dreadlokz about 11 years ago
Maybe instead of blabbing, Pig can take off the poison oak!
Arianne about 11 years ago
Cue the Righteous Brothers! ♫♪♫♪♫ Pig’s lost that winnery feeling, oh that winnery feeling Bring back that winnery feeling, now it’s gone, gone, gone And he’ll just scratch on, whoh ohoh oh… (I never knew it was possible to be not allergic to it. What luck!)
specinss about 11 years ago
Pig will need to see the doc to get a shot so that the rash will not spread into his eyes and cause blindness.
finale about 11 years ago
Friend on riding mower with shorts, sandals and sunglasses goes off property by 5 feet and hits patch of poison ivy. 3 days in hospital due to inhalation/ingestion and skin exposure..“Funny” now (oh, OK; even back then it was somewhat humourous after we found out it he wasn’t going to die).
sarah413 Premium Member about 11 years ago
Look on the bright side pig, at least your victory drink didn’t taste like burnt almonds.
puddlesplatt about 11 years ago
taint funny if you’ve had it , can be real serious is your caught out in the boonies…
doublepaw about 11 years ago
Use Windex!
orinoco womble about 11 years ago
Pig’s tubby enough to feel Michael Winner-y.
banananananana about 11 years ago
haha
Scott S about 11 years ago
When I was in Basic Training the drill sergeant looked at one of the troops when we were in the field, asked him if he knew he’d camoflaged his helmet with poison oak.
Number Three about 11 years ago
Oh Pig…
LOL xxx
JP Steve Premium Member about 11 years ago
“We Extend This Laurel, and Hearty Handshake…”
Igo about 11 years ago
I had a cousin who was immune to poison ivy. He used to lord it over all of his friends and make fun of them because they could get the rash, and he couldn’t. One day he picked a bunch of poison ivy leaves and rubbed them all over his face. A few days later, he found out that IMMUNE is not necessarily forever.
His face blew up like a basketball. Everyone had a grand time with that.
I Go Pogo about 11 years ago
Wow – thanks for refreshing my memory. I see a long evening ahead tonight settling back and revisiting some Jesse Winchester albums.