Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for January 11, 2013

Gwen has a dirty side I didn’t know she had.

There once was a man from AustraliaWho painted his a$$ like a dahliaThe colour was fineLikewise the designBut the aroma, well that was a failure

from ’Breaker Morant"

There once was a beautiful lass,Who had a magnificent ass.Not rounded and pink,As you probably think,It was brown, had long ears and ate grass.

There was a young lady of Lynn,Who believed in original sin.She’d try to be goodAs hard as she could,And then she’d go at it a’gin.

There was a young man from SpartaA most magnificent farter On the strength of one bean He`d fart God save the QueenAnd Beethoven`s Moonlight Sonata

Spurred on by a very high wagerWith an envious German named Gager, He proceeded to fart The complete oboe partOf a Haydn Octet in B-major

The babe, with a cry brief and dismal,Fell into the water baptismal.Ere they’d gathered its plightIt had sunk out of sightFor the depth of the font was abyssmal. – Edward Gorey

Each night father fills me with dreadAs he sits at the foot of my bed.I’d not mind that he speaksIn gibbers and squeaksBut for 17 years he’s been dead. – Edward Gorey (and my personal favorite)

There once was a painter named PhideasWhose paintings some people thought hideousHe once painted AphroditeWithout even a nightieWhich upset the fussy, fastidious

A lady while dining at Crewe Found an elephant’s whang in her stew. Said the waiter, “Don’t shout, And don’t wave it about, Or the others will all want one too.

I once thought a gal named Claire, had quite a magnificent pair, As I watched her one morn’ they got caught on a thorn, and then they began losing air!

There once was a mathematician from Nepal,Who had a dodecahedronal ball,And the sum of its weight,Times its circumference, plus eight.Is his phone number, give him a call.

Boys! Boys! We’re having FUN here.. drop the political crap.

(and this is not about a guy from Nantucket)

There was a young girl from PequodWho said babies were gifted from GodBut it wasn’t the almighty That snuck in her nightieIt was Roger the Lodger, b’gawd !

A gypsy boy pinching some shawlsWas kicked by a cop in Sioux FallsThe action was rashand produced a loud crashbecause most gypsies have crystal b…s

Thers’s one about a plumber which would probably get flagged. Try “Some limericks” by Norman Douglas, available from “TheBookDepositary”

@superfrogThe dahlia one plus exegesis is in Douglas’s collection “Some Limericks”.You will like it.

@taxgeekbest in a long time.

There once was a fisherman named FisherWho was fishing for fish in a fissureWhen a cod with a grinPulled the fisherman inNow they’re fishing the fissure for Fisher

funny!!!!!!!!…but I wish they’d do a strip with Henry the dragon he’s funny….wonder if Rodney and Gwen will ever marry?

What a poetic group. You guys are great—made me laugh out loud!