Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for February 03, 2013

Better hope that’s a tan or he’ll be in pieces b4 they can make it out the door.

If she takes that long you might think about giving her the slip.

Such a pear should perk a banana up just like that!

Once, as a joke, I was the banana in scenario, and while I was waiting, I put on a skeleton Halloween costume. That was the end of that relationship.

He peels well, but she’s too thin-skinned.

If she had rushed up and down the stairs any faster, she would have been seeing spots.

Bananas turn brown from yellow?

He was green when he arrived…

He should have made like a banana – and split.

Clever gag … and even better comments.

too mushy for me

He was too ripe and she just got there. They’ll never be a pair. My man knows how to keep himself just perfectly ready even after I’ve arrived many times. He’s NEVER overripe and I know just how to thank him for all his efforts.

Hope I haven’t offended you or your lovely wife, Mark.