Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 04, 2012
Transcript:
Goat: Hey, Rat... You want half this sandwich? I can't eat all of it. Rat: I can't eat that. There are sprouts on it. Goat: What's wrong with sprouts? Rat: Nobody likes sprouts. That's how they got their name. Goat: 'Sports'? Rat: Something People Ruin Our Usually Tasty Sandwiches with. Goat: Of course. Rat: Want to know what broccoli stands for?
killacowinWA over 11 years ago
Sprouts are disgusting. True story.
cyberguy over 11 years ago
I think Pastis made a challenge: what does ‘BROCCOLI’ stand for?
Ida No over 11 years ago
Yes, Rat, I do!
Varnes over 11 years ago
Hey, lay off broccoli……I love broccoli….wrote a song about it…“I got the blues but what I need is green…”
Proginoskes over 11 years ago
AVOCADO? People actually eat that stuff???
Buggerit over 11 years ago
I’m guessing that by “sprouts” we are talking about bean sprouts as opposed to Brussels sprouts. I like them both, but nobody would put Brussels sprouts in a sandwich, would they?
Bilan over 11 years ago
If Pastis can’t even make an acronym for s.p.r.o.u.t without adding a w, broccoli is going to be next to impossible.
Sisyphos over 11 years ago
I am not fond of Brussels sprouts anywhere, and I don’t much care for any other kinds of sprouts in sandwiches, though I’ve had more or less high-end burgers slathered with them. Rat’s acronym explanation (aside from the necessary “w[ith]” at the end) works, but I don’t see an easy read for BROCCOLI….
Hillbillyman over 11 years ago
sottwell over 11 years ago
The problem is that the search for ever-greater profits has lead to using cheap suppliers from places like Egypt, where the growing, harvesting and storage of the seeds are not done in a clean environment. Raw sewage is used for water, and field workers have no sanitary facilities available. Storage facilities are infested with rats and bugs.The same problem cropped up a few years ago with making “sun tea” with tea from India. The tea leaves were grown, harvested and stored in unclean conditions, and without the boiling water the contaminated tea leaves were making people sick.
mbreed184 over 11 years ago
Yes, yes, I want to know!
oish over 11 years ago
BecauseRidiculouslyObscureComicCommentsObligatesLastingInfatuation
ie – How do you keep a turkey in suspense?(I’ll tell you tomorrow)
finale over 11 years ago
Just add more onions.
chrisdakin over 11 years ago
BecauseReally,OnlyCertainClownsObstensiblyLikeIt
Carl Rennhack Premium Member over 11 years ago
Rat needs to be reminded that vegetarians are sprouting up all over! Like fur and leather, meat looks better on the original owner!
mkahn over 11 years ago
BadRoughage(from)OleraceaCausesCrampingOnLargeIntestine
(oleracea is from Broccoli’s species name “Brassica oleracea”)
bagbalm over 11 years ago
Sprouts go bad to easily – Jimmy Johns gave up on them after an E Coli episode
flyfisher over 11 years ago
B adR oughageO ur C olonC lears O ut L ike I mmediately
Best I could come up with…..
Vonne Anton over 11 years ago
I like broccoli and bean sprouts…having said that, I’ll return to my home planet now (but not before stocking up on bacon; it goes with everything!).
Gokie5 over 11 years ago
Some neat acronyms above. As soon as I saw the strip in the paper, I knew that there’d be some “broccoli sprouts” in the comments, and made this up on te spot:
B etterR elyO nC oncertedC hewingO fL izardI nnards
Won’t mention my favorite of preceding efforts because don’t want to hurt the feelings of the other authors.
Gokie5 over 11 years ago
(1) Please change “te” to “the” in line three, above. (2) Actually, I like broccoli ok, but won’t go out of my way to get it.(3) The four grandkids are big-time picky eaters, but all of them love cooked broccoli. Go figure.
jazzmoose over 11 years ago
“Cooked”? You’re doing it wrong. Grab some ranch dip and throw the stove away.
lostsynapse over 11 years ago
BanRancidOlfactoryCultChooseOnly LusciousIce Cream
DGWillie over 11 years ago
Broccoli, and whatever those white things are, if covered with sufficient tangy melted cheese sauce, are just barely palletable. There is no sufficient amount of cheese to accomplish this with Brussels Sprouts.
Piksea Premium Member over 11 years ago
I’m afraid to ask!
ziggman14304 over 11 years ago
BasicallyRemnantsOfCrummyCookingOfLameIngredients
ziggman14304 over 11 years ago
I also try to figure out what the letters on other people’s license plates stand for. Keeps me alert while driving.
Perkycat over 11 years ago
Sprouts are OK. Broccoli will never pass my lips – can’t even stand the smell of them.
belldee90 over 11 years ago
I could never figure out how people’s mothers fixed vegetables that they learned to hate them. I made all the vegetables for my kids, and they love all of them, but you gotta know how to fix them. @ Brussels sprouts guy: try this: core the sprouts like they’re cabbages, slice them into shreds, put the shreds into a frying pan with a little olive oi or butter if you prefer, dried cranberries, salt, pepper, and cinnamon. Fry them just til they’re warm. Stir in some crunchy toasted pecans if you like. How do you know you don’t like it until you’ve tried it?
emilyzena over 11 years ago
And they say rats will eat anything!
Millilong over 11 years ago
Yes!!!! Jimmy John’s would be heavenly if it weren’t for the sprouts.
spod Premium Member over 11 years ago
There’s only one way to eat sprouts. Cook them with bacon. And then throw away the sprouts.
BadRestaurantsOffloadedCrapContaminatesOurLovelyIndian(meal)
or
BushyRoughageOnceCookedCausesOdorousLoudIndigestion
williamh31980 over 11 years ago
WeHopeOnlyPoorPeopleEatRats
Stream of conscience over 11 years ago
I love Brussells sprouts.
Buggerlugs over 11 years ago
Put enough cheese on the broccoli and it’s almost edible.
Number Three over 11 years ago
Yes… Tell us, Rat!
LOL xxx
Popeyesforearm over 11 years ago
I have a client that owns a sprout factory and he’s getting sued all the time for illnesses at restaurants
Sashalion over 11 years ago
Broccoli sprouts are the best. Tender and crunchy. If you don’t like them then you haven’t tried them!
Jackson_Sholl over 11 years ago
As one of the largest Sprouter in the country, i find this comic Hilarious. I also have been in business for decades with no health related issues. Yes there are some sprout producers out in the market that are not following appropriate Good Manufacturing Practices, but more regulation is not necessarily the answer. We need to retailers to stop always looking for the best deal and truly put food safety as their TOP Priority.
unca jim over 11 years ago
I’ll eat anything home-grown.. I found out early that most mid-east people wipe their butt with their left hand and handle food with both hands, not a good recipe for bag-lunching out in the desert.
Sherlock Watson over 11 years ago
I just can’t eat vegetarian; they’re hard to catch, and they scream like you wouldn’t believe.
Sherlock Watson over 11 years ago
As a maker of backronyms, Rat is about on the same level as Calvin (GROSS = Get Rid Of Slimy girlS).
1MadHat Premium Member over 11 years ago
No can do alfalfa sprouts here – to me they just smell like hay and taste bitter. Good with Brussels and bean, though – broccoli, cauliflower and the other cruciforms, too.
kwanza_30303 over 11 years ago
Sprouts probably can’t be made safe from bacterial contamination except by radiation—cooking or chemicals to kill the bacteria kills the sprouts and their crunch. I avoid them whenever possible.
medium2au over 11 years ago
Avocados used to be called alligator pears. True!
Meghan Longhi Premium Member over 11 years ago
Sprouts are gross….sooo curious to see if Stephan can come up with broccoli!
massha over 11 years ago
BlindRageOfCrazyCholericOldLunaticIdiots(dodging – please don’t hurt me)
bmonk over 11 years ago
Never did like the acronym approach to meanings.
NotAnEdibleTourist almost 6 years ago
Bluff Ruining Overrated Comic Characters, Obliviously Lighting Indignity
dom cos over 5 years ago
Rat=Jacksfilms
Dragongirl55 over 3 years ago
Big, Random, Objects that Collectively Crush Our Living Independence? (I tried my best…)
The Almighty Cookie Monster almost 2 years ago
i do