Cathy Classics by Cathy Guisewite for February 28, 2021
Clinically proven to minimize the appearance of what might indicate the possible beginning of... Cathy: "Reduces visible signs of aging in six weeks or your money back!" "Reduces fine lines around the lips in ten days or your money back!" "Restores elasticity and evens tone in one week or your money back!" Which one was supposed to restore elasticity? Which was supposed to fix the lip lines? Which day did I start each thing and which visible results were supposed to happen when? What exactly did my face look like 49 days ago? And even if I could recall all that...where's my original packaging? Where are my receipts? Where do I mail my claims? Cosmetics' only real guarantee: The greater the need, the less likely the user will remember the offer long enough to collect on it. JUST SEND A BIG BAG OF MONEY AND I'LL HOLD IT OVER MY FACE!!