February 07, 2019
January 17, 2018
I see the aliens got nothing useful after their long trip to Earth.
Not gonna lie, this kind of reminds me of a Shel Silverstein poem.
The teacher won’t buy that excuse, lad. Better go have chat with the principal, your mother, and your dad.
So much for the search for intelligent life here — on to the next star system!
Looks like Calvin has a “Twilight zone” episode in mind.
So now the aliens can’t add either?
All that trip across the universe and they find a bad six year scholar. I bet the aliens will never invade us.
Off to the Principals office, and another call to Dad!!
That may be a math class, but he’s history.
Poor Miss Wormwood.
That story doesn’t add up.
It actually came from me, the largest black hole! (Just read my profile name, that is the name of the black hole)
Calvin, you usual seat will be waiting for you.
Maybe Calvin doesn’t get math, but he is a wonderful writer. He should get some credit for that.
Calvin an angel? That makes me laugh!!
Loving the poem, if not the sentiment…
Thanks for the fun re-read this morning!
“Fiendish suction cup” is a plunger! laughter
Maybe it’s a good thing that they mechanic’ly removed all the math, equations and numbers he ever learned. Lol
A rather creative way of saying “I don’t know”…
As Chief Orxc I have analyzed
All those words you said.
The remedy is very clear -
The office of The Head.
Okay, I’d give him an A in English class and an F in math class. Together it’s a C and that’s good enough for me.
He can’t solve 4 + 5 ._.
Sounds reasonable …
(to the Q-a-non-sense folks.)
I love how the “knowledge” that got sucked out of Calvin was wrong!
If only this were creative writing class
I wish I had thought of that with my math teacher!
Calvin went on to become one of the great published science fiction writers. Sadly boys and girls, our Calvin died alone and destitute.
For years his agent and publisher showed him the numbers from his sales that included regional costs, returns, depreciation, marketing, usury taxes, costs of off shore accounts, advances, interest and other non-GAAP amounts. They explained that the bottom line showed how he was in debt to them.
Boys and girls, if only Calvin could have been able to do arithmetic…what more might he have done with his life?
Calvin will grow up to be a terrific fiction writer.
Beats, “the dog ate my homework .”
Great poets are often unappreciated by their math teachers…
Next solar system, Captain: There is no intelligent life here.
Two weeks later, astronomers report the explosion of a planet in the Beta Corralis system, suggesting it looked like some energy testing gone horribly wrong… possibly because of bad data.
This is plausible. It explains a lot about what I can’t remember.
“Since i don’t have a dog that I can blame for eating me homework… I know! Honest, Miss Wormwood, aliens sucked all the learning out of my brain! What?!? You find that difficult to believe?!?”
Wish I had known that poem when I was in school, I certainly did not know the math…
If this were a poetry unit, I’d give Calvin an A+.
A vivid imagination can be both impressive and troublesome. The pandemic is revealing as a problem for one of my nephews as we’ve observed him more.
He gets an A+ in poetry
Calvin may not be good at math, but he sure is good at poetry! It’s like he wrote it in advance before going to school that day!
I’ll keep this excuse in my back pocket for not doing chores around the house. Aliens sucked out all my motivation.
I don’t usually like poetry, but this is great. Love it!
Didn’t work for me, Calvin. ☹️
heh, note that the math on the computer monitor is HILARIOUSLY wrong, so he couldn’t do the math even before the aliens stole his knowledge
In high school English (50 yrs ago) when we had to write poems, how happy I would have been to write this one, instead of one with dragons and phlogiston.
Simply telling Miss Wormwood about the “escapade” isn’t enough; no, he has to recite it in poem form.
I adore Calvin’s poetry. It’s always hilarious and brilliant, and the artwork with this one makes it extra amazing. Thank you, Mr. Watterson!!
But if you insist I answer
Lest my grades should take a dive,
I’ll just have to tell you plainly
That the answer’s forty-five…
And that’s the reason teacher Wormwood has not
retired, she loves science fiction stories..
Bill Watterson! That is a terrific poem . . . it rhymes, it scans, it sparks joy!
What an imagination, if Calvin applied himself he be smarty kid.
Calvin is going to grow up to be a world-class writer one day.
give him an A for poetry and creativity
If one must retort, then retort in rhyme.
Calvin is no angel.
Calvin is lucky. Most aliens are interested in your other end.
I ripped off this poem in elementary school.
This is the only example known to me in English Literature of many rhyming with antennae
Instead of Math, how ’bout an EnglishClass for our young friend?Perhaps some rhyming will aid timing,Sums, and dividend.
It seems a shame to waste his effortIn poetic verse.I have a feeling that Miss Wormwood’sResponse will be terse!
Similar thing happened to me in law school. But it took three years.
Well he has a future as an English teacher or write of SciFi.
I didn’t even realize it was rhyming until the last panel
This is breathtakingly good. (:-)
All the English majors who were terrible with Math will see themselves here.