Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for December 14, 2014
Miss Wormwood: "Thank you, Claire. That was very good, ...all right, who'd like to go next?" Miss Wormwood: "Anyone at all, besides Calvin?" Calvin: "HEY!" Calvin: "For show-and-tell, I brought these amazing fossilized bone fragments that I painstakingly unearthed from sedimentary deposits in my front yard!" Calvin: "Though they look like ordinary driveway gravel to the untutored eye of the ignorant layman, I immediately recognized these as pieces of jawbone from a new species of carnosaur!" Calvin: "In this dramatic illustration, I've re-created the complete Calvinosaurus as it would have appeared in the late Jurassic! It's coloration here is somewhat conjectural." Calvin: "I'll be publishing my full findings shortly! Undoubtedly I'll be the recipient of many lucrative paleontology prizes, and in a matter of weeks, prestige, fame and fortune will be mine!" Calvin: "When this happens, you can be darn are that those of you who were mean to me in school will suffer appropriately!" Calvin: "I'll employ my resources to make your puny lives miserable! I'll crush your pitiful dreams and ambitions like bugs in the dust!" Calvin: "...But there IS an alternative! I'm not accepting a limited number of applications to be my pay. The cost is just $20 per person, and you can revel in the association for a lifetime! Any takers?" Calvin: "Oh yeah? You just wait!"