Big Nate by Lincoln Peirce for December 24, 1995
CHRISTMAS COOKIES! Hey, gang! Follow this simple recipe from the kitchen of CHEF DAD! Step 1: Place one cup lard, one quart lemon juice, and two pounds sawdust in large bowl. Step 2: Add one heaping teaspoon of dirt, three cups of olive oil, and a dozen eggs. Blend. Step 3: Mix in nuts, berries, twigs, pebbles, and small insects. Step 4: Roll dough until uneven and lumpy. Cut into strange, bizarre shapes. Step 5: Bake until rock-hard. Then frost with icing made from flour, honey, and Spam. Step 6: Serve. Nate: *Oolp!* Ellen: What's IN these? Dad: There's another batch in the oven!